You Know What They Say About Great Minds

I got to take a quick jaunt through L.A. last weekend.  It was just a 24 hour marathon visit tacked onto a business trip, just enough time to see two of my good girlfriends from college, Don Johnson, two actors from Heroes, and Vera Wang.

You know, the essentials.

It was great to catch up, but the weird coinkydink moment came when my friend, who I have written about before, met us for lunch and all I could do was stare at her nails.

They were a smooth grey with a hint of purple.  Darker than the color that I was crushing on this fall, but still totally chic.  And, I never found a light grey that met my specifications.

So, after we got through the niceties of how-are-you, how-is-work, significant-others-etc.  I couldn't contain myself any longer and I blurted out...What color is your nail polish?!?!

I mean seriously, you can't take me anywhere.  I have no social graces.

She looked a little taken aback (I mean literally, she had gotten through"work is goo-" before I jumped in) but said that she was shocked at how many comments she had gotten on it.  And that it was OPI by Sephora.

And I knew exactly which one she meant.

Metro Chic.

I know, because I have been to Sephora, oh, maybe 20 times to look at it.  It's the closest I've seen to what I want, but I was unable to pull the trigger and just buy the damn thing.  

Well, no longer!  Because my friend also said the magic phrase.  She told me that it was - nojoke- the best nail polish she's used.  No chips and going on 10 days.  Well, that seals the deal.  I plan on heading for that little bottle like a fricking heat-seeking missile or an intern for the cheese platter at a Rayburn reception.

Yeah, it's on.

After the nail polish issue was cleared up, I did get all the life scoop from my friend and catch up and everything.  I take this as reaffirmation that we are meant to be friends.

Oh, she also was carrying the bag I was about to buy last week.  Freaky, yes?

Welcome Back, Givhan

Holy Balzac people.

Surely a sign of These Fashion Times, Robin Givhan - columnist for the Washington Post, follower of MObama, critic at large, and general badass - will be relocating from New York to Washington sometime before summer begins.

Now, many of those in our Nation's capital who regularly read Givhan's column might be surprised to hear that the Washington Post employs a fashion critic/columnist who doesn't actually LIVE in WASHINGTON.  

Hell...I was.

But no, she lives closer to my parents than I have since high school.  So, as soon as she sells that 1BR prewar co-op on the Upper West Side, she'll be moving south of the Mason Dixon.  

Actually, this could take longer than she thinks.  Co-op boards can be a real pain in the you know what.  Someone better have some serious cash capital and a very quiet pet-slash-child.

Ostensibly, this is so she can keep a close eye on the First Family and their fashion plate ways, but I also think it's a sign of how far DC has come fashion-wise.

Yes, we still have girls roaming Georgetown in huge sweatpants tucked into Uggs and popped collar shirts (ps what is UP with that?  Gross.) and women in short sleeved shoulder padded suits in sneakers taking the metro to work.  And Lord only knows when people will STOP. WEARING. ACRYLIC. FRENCH. MANICURES.  PLEASE.  STOP. IT. HURTS. MY. EYES.

On the other hand, we have Hu's Wear and Relish, our very own little Ikrams.  We have Inga's and Remix, two very cool secondhand stores.  We have Target and their gorge spin off lines which is accessible by public transportation.

So, welcome Ms. Givhan!  But you are nuts if you think you can get decent food delivery under 45 minutes.

My Future in PR Might be Short

Sulfates are totally the high-fructose corn syrup of the beauty world.

Yup, it's true.

Picture the ad now:

Scene in a beautiful Hamptons cottage, two women in yoga clothes chatting over coffee while orange juice and muffins sit idly by, uneaten.

Woman 1 (owner of the house): So, do you want to shower before we head out to meet the guys for brunch?

Woman 2 (her guest):  Well, sure.  But I forgot my shampoo back in the city.

Woman 1: Oh, just use mine, I don't mind.

Woman 2 (conspiratorily) :  But yours has sulfates in it.

Woman 1 (snottily): So?

Woman 2 (baffled): Well, you know what they say about sulfates!

Woman 1 (authoritatively): What?  That it's a kind of detergent and it gets my hair clean?

Woman 2 (broken): Ok, ok...  I guess I'll take that shower then!

Awkward frenemy laughter ensues.

Annnnndddd...scene.

I think I have a future on Mad Men.

Seriously though, there has been a lot of talk on the interwebs and in magazines about the dangers of sulfates, but not a lot of people know what they are or what the alternatives are.  

Well, the Beauty Brains does.

I, myself am hopelessly devoted to Pantene Pro-V, event though it is similarly maligned on the internet.  But, in the interest of being "trendy" and "natural," I gave L'Oreal's EverPure shampoo and conditioner a whirl.

It smells just like the Aveda Rosemary Mint products and lathers up nicely.  The main difference was that my hair felt heavier throughout the day.  Almost like day-after washing hair.  The smell lingers, which is nice, but I couldn't get past the heavy hair.

So, if you are really concerned about sulfates, or just love the Aveda smell without the trip to the salon, check out L'Oreal's EverPure line.

If not, just try to make your friends feel dumb by stumping them with the lines above.

Gossip Girl: Carnal Knowledge

Long time no blog, right?

Let's just say I've been on strike as long as Gossip Girl has!  Well, not exactly.  Work has consumed my life much in the same way crappy plot lines and whiny pathetic teachers have consumed Gossip Girl.

At least the fashion is still good.

Nelly Yuki and Blair rock some sweet coats out on the school patio.  Nelly's is French Connection and Blair's is H&M, but neither seem to be available online anymore.

Following the theme of things not being available, Blair's cardigan is the Nanette Lepore Songstress.

For once in this show, Serena is all covered up and weather appropriate!  Sporting a Rag and Bone coat and DVF boots.  Also, sadly, not available online.

WTF?

The lead time on the styling is getting a little absurd.

The bag is for sale...but it is north of three grand.  Oh.  My stomach turned just thinking about it.

Ahhh, finally, you can take all that moolah you saved not getting any of the aforementioned items and get Blair's Catherine Malandrino Floral Sleeve top.

Until next week...here's to hoping the Kubrickian plot twists and irrelevant adults vacate premises.

The Big Day

That's right...Valentine's Day is right around the corner.

Well...I kind of hate Valentine's Day.

Sorry.

I'm not a fan of conversation hearts, Russell stover, overpriced restaurant menus served by surly waiters, scratchy pink underwear given to you by someone suckered by an ad with big feather wings.

Washingtonian posted a special roundup of Blogger Beat all-stars best and worst Valentine's stories which is a pretty good read.

And as for my plans this year?  

Buying myself yet another pink lipgloss.  I am my own best Valentine.

Gossip Girl: You've Got Yale

Well...the surrealism continues.

First of all, yes, private school heads have a great deal of leverage in getting students into top schools.  But, no way in hell Serena would be getting one of those spots unless Bart had dedicated half of his fortune to a building with her name on it.

Blair, on the other hand, probably already has an endowment in her name.  Unless it was spent on her Milly fitted check coat and Valentino Jardin Rose bag.

Underneath the coat, she's sporting a Brooks Brothers Black Fleece jacket and H&M skirt.  But based on the prices, this is not your grandfather's Brooks Brothers jacket.  Ouch.  I'll also ignore her coffee filter sleeve blouse.  

Ok, no I won't.  Yuck.

Serena shows a rare moment of restraint in face of the New York January cold spell by covering up in a Lauren Moffat coat.  Don't worry, she bares her boobs for a night at the Opera.

Oh, another point of order?  Teens don't go to the opening night of the Met and make out in box seats.

But when Blair gets dressed for a date with her headmistress, she smartens up in a D&G coat from Fall/Winter 08.  My problem is this:  I caught a glimpse of Blair's shoes.  Mustard patent high heeled loafers with a velvet ribbon.  I know I've seen them before, and I CANNOT FIND THEM.

Please help.

Please.

Gossip Girl: Gone With The Will

Double Header tonight.

The past few episodes have digressed into totally unrealistic territory what with seventeen year olds inheriting multi-billion dollar public companies, attending readings of wills without representation, and throwing brunches and whatnot.

Blair picks up on one of my favorite trends here - grey tights.  They are reputed to be from Urban Outfitters, but I've also seen them in Bloomies and American Apparel makes a pretty kick-ass version.  She pairs it with a Diane von Furstenberg navy and black suit and Flavio Castellani cape.

For a change, Blair shows her boobs instead of Serena!  It's like a blue moon or getting to a sample sale when there's no line.  This is a stunner of a dress is Dolce and Gabbana from Fall/Winter 04-05.  Boo.

Ahh, just to put things right in the world, Serena shows up at a fancy brunch in a skintight Diane von Furstenberg sweater dress, but she's upstaged by Blair in a Milly blouse and See by Chloe skirt.

Until the next totally unrealistic ep...

Rules To Live By

In law school, we were taught that every question has the same answer:

It depends.

I firmly believe that when it comes to answering issues of legal significance, the slightest change in detail can drastic affect the response.

But when it comes to fashion, I enjoy stating things in absolutes.

Like my favorite:

Black tights go with everything.

EVERYTHING.

Seriously. From about mid October to late April, tights are my leg clothes of choice.

Frilly summer dresses? Pull on your trusty tights and chunky sweater and go.

Pencil skirts? Tights and a sharp jacket over a sexy secretary blouse and boogie.

That white cocktail dress? It's all about tights and black patent heels.

So here's my problem. I'm constantly on the hunt for the blackest, most opaque tights on the market. My current choice are the Assets line from Target, which are made by the Spanx people and consistently make you a full half size smaller. The only problem is that their magical body-morphing fabric extends to the mid-thigh area, making it difficult to wear them with a short skirt or dress.

I've heard that Wolford makes the creme de la creme but in These Economic Times, I think my husband might flip if I spent $40 on hosiery and tried to serve him ramen at dinner.

So help me out! What are the best black tights on the market?!?

Ok people. We've reached def-con 6000 and going to ludicrous speed.

That's right.

It's Inaugural Weekend here in our Nation's capitol and it's fricking freezing.

I mean that totally literally.

FREEZING.

So, if you are planning on spending the day anywhere outside of your bathtub with a shotgun I Am Legend style in DC, follow my 10 patented steps for beauty on the go.

First, think about how long you will be outside, whether attending the swearing in, the parade or just wandering around seeing what all the fuss is about. Now double that. And add an hour. That's how long you will TRULY have to brave the elements. Now weep in fear.

Second, prepare. I am planning on packing handwarmers (mmmm, exothermic reactions are awesome), gloves, hat, long underwear, and fleecy boots. I will look like Nanook of the Beltway, but whatever. Photos will be taken from neck up only.

Third, layer. And by that I mean moisturizer. Seriously, take the thickest lotion you've got and slather it on. You'll have time to shower it off later, but for now, you want to make sure nothing gets chapped. Those parade stands are metal. Nobody wants a freezer burned scaly ass.

Fourth, LIP BALM. Tons of it. Everyone knows my Rosebud devotion, but it doesn't matter what you use, just use it. Breathing through your nose is going to burn like you snorted a Pixi stick (ok, I only did it ONCE. on a DARE. At SUMMER CAMP.) so make sure your mouth breathing doesn't turn your lips into a bloody mess.

Fifth, choose accessories wisely. As I said, I'm making sure that pictures will be of the cute stuff, so my hat will be cute. I'm loving the furry aviatior/bomber hats with ear flaps and anything in a bright color.

Sixth, waterproof mascara. Even if you're not a cryer or weeping tears of joy, that biting cold wind will make your eyes tear and it's hard to do a precision wipe with gloves.

Seventh, take pictures early. All of the above will only get you so far. Take pictures early before you dissolve into a windburned, teary eyed, chapped mess and you can tell your grandchildren that you always looked that good when you were that age.

Eighth, wear COMFORTABLE SHOES. If you are going to a ball later, you will definitely want to save the pain for later. I had the good fortune of being able to scoop up a pair of the Bromley boots from JCrew that I have been eying since last year and they are cozy and warm and comfy. NB If you read between the lines here, I'm telling you that it's ok to wear Uggs outside the house.

Ok, wait, I need a minute to believe that I actually just typed that.

Crud.

Ninth, abandon all fantasies you had about looking cute while bundled up. You gave up on that when you bought the Uggs.

Tenth, if you can get a private audience with the President, ask him to support a constitutional amendment to move the swearing in to May. Seriously, Michelle would be all for this. Girlfriend has to stand up there and she actually has to look CUTE!

So Fresh and So Clean

I usually refrain from doing a lot of posts about awards shows, mostly due to the fact that, by the time I sift through all the pics and press releases, everyone else has discussed and is bored and doesn't want to hear it.

But last night, while I watched Laura Linney accepting a Golden Globe, I was struck by two things.

First, what the eff?  No Globe for "Congo?!?!"  

Just kidding.

Second, she looked FAN-fricking-tastic.

Not scary-skinny-Restylaned like the Desperate Housewives, just pretty and glowy and natural.

So when I saw a press release about her makeup, I just had to post.

Skin Care: La Mer The Mist, La Mer The Moisturizing Lotion, La Mer The Lip Balm

Foundation: DiorSkin Pure Light in Light Beiged

Concealer: DiorSkin Sculpt Lifting Smoothing Concealer in Beige

Powder: Physicians Formula Organic Wear 100% Natural Origin Pressed Powder in Buff Beige Organics, $13.95

Bronzer: Physicians Formula Bronze Boost Glow-Boosting Pressed Bronzer in Light to Medium, $14.95

Blush: Physicians Formula Organic Wear 100% Natural Origin 2-in-1 Bronzer and Blush in Light Bronzer / Pink Rose, $13.95

Eye Shadow: Physicians Formula Shimmer Strips in Miami Strip, $12.95

Eye Liner: Physicians Formula Eye Definer Felt-Tip Eye Marker in Soft Black, $6.95 / Dior Crayon Eyeliner - Waterproof Trinidad Black 094 (Jet Black)

Brows: Dior Powder Brow Pencil in Blonde

Mascara: DiorShow

Lips: Dior Addict Ultra Gloss in A Lick of Taffy / Dior Contour Lip Liner in Nude Rose

Highlights / Contour: Physicians Formula Shimmer Strips in Sunkissed Glow (Highlighter), $11.95 / Physicians Formula Organic Wear 100% Natural Origin 2-in-1 Bronzer and Blush in Light Bronzer / Pink Rose, $13.95

Body: MAC Strobe Cream

And since I am posting just ONE DAY after the show....Renee Zellweger.  Why?  Sweet mother of crap, why?

My Verdict

Big thumbs down.

Gossip Girl: In the Realm of Basses

Welcome back!  

Honestly, I got so bored with making fun of Serena's boobs towards the end of last season, I just couldn't think of any new creative ways to say, Sweet Christ!  What 16 year old has cleavage that prominent?!?

However, like bears and my ability to accomplish anything, Serena's boobs have gone into hibernation during the winter.

All is well.

Blair continues to be the fashion raison d'etre for me...I mean, I've never been a fan of short sleeved suit jackets.  I think they are just something that female lobbyists invented so we don't have to sweat to death that last week before August recess.  In the 80's.  And never updated the look.

But Blair pulls it off here, pairing a Diane von Furstenberg jacket with a long sleeved tee and pencil skirt.
She pulls out another gem with the Nanette Lepore "Shake It" cardigan with gorge ruffled neck and satin details.  It's like a sweater and a scarf and a nightgown all in one!

Serena, boobs safely in hiding, still manages to don some skanky ass outfits, typically consisting of skintight jeans and droopy jersey tops.

The only highlight?  The leather jacket with sweater detailing.  Skintight, of course.  Girlfriend would have to hold onto a bed frame and suck it in to have someone zip that baby up.

My last favorite?  Lily's clearly-Loub shoes for the getaway to Boston to find her love child. 

Talk about irresponsible parenting...I bet that kid ended up a Red Sox fan.

Shudder

Until next week...let's just hope Serena's cleavage doesn't emerge from its chrysalis to flap its wings.

Incentivize

In my line of work, we try to think of ways to make people do things that they wouldn't ordinarily do without being forced.

Yeah, I work in the wonderful world of government policy.

Most of the time, that boils down to somehow rewarding people for good behavior.

Read: paying them.

Sneaky. But effective.

Which I why I totally respect Kiehl's for their new "Recycle and be Rewarded" program.

Here's the deal:

You bring back your Kiehl's recyclable empties and they stamp your card. The more you bring back, the more rewards you reap!

3 empties gets you one of their famous Lip Balm #1.

5 empties gets you a 2.5 oz travel collection product (perfect for styming TSA or for gym-goers)

10 empties gets you a full-sized product worth up to $25 and a new card.

Since I am a devotee of many, many Kiehl's products, I plan on getting some free stuff! I used to just include my packaging in the recycling in my house, but I think it's worth the trip to take them back to the store.

Color me incentivized.

(yup, it's a term of art)

An Open Letter to Department Store Cosmetics Salespeople

Dear Salespeople in Nordstrom, Neimans, Bendels, Bergdorf's, Barneys, etc.

So...times are pretty tough, huh?

Sales are down, I know.

I know sometimes when you work in an industry that thrives on commissions and people spending money on frivolous things an economic downturn is pretty deadly. I understand the panic that I see in your eyes when I walk into the overly perfumed air near your counters.

And believe me, I am sympathetic.

I want to buy lipglosses I don't need and mascara that promises to make me stop traffic like like a five car pile-up on the Jersey Turnpike on a holiday weekend.

However, when you come swooping down with your crazy eyes and pleas of "CAN-I-INTEREST-YOU-IN-ANYTHING-NEED-ANY-HELP-CAN-I-SHOW-YOU-THIS" I just want to run away. And then I do in fact, run away. To be perfectly frank, I actually have credit to several major stores and have entered on multiple occasions intent on buying, only to be driven away by the Marrakesh bazaar-like atmosphere.

While I do love the DIY charms of my neighborhood Sephora, I've always enjoyed picking the brain of an expert at the department store. I like getting a makeover and picking my favorite product then walking out of the store feeling pretty. I like having someone show me something that I hadn't thought to try on my own.

But lately it's gotten out of hand. I think I even had a nightmare recently where the monkey from Raiders of the Lost Ark was running after me with a bottle of L'Air du Temps and the latest Juicy Tube and tries to force me into buying both.

So, this has been pretty disturbing to me as well. I'd like to broker a cease-fire.

If you stop trying to harass me into trying your stuff and let me peruse the counters at my leisure, I promise to buy some stuff. In fact, be a little aloof. Read "The Rules" or something. But be there when I need something. And all will be well.

If I get wind of any attempts to slather unwanted creams on my skin or get screechy about limited offers, I swear I will take all my disposable income to the nearest Sephora and never come back.

So please. Stop the madness. Back off a little. And I promise I will start spending.

Sincerely,

Caphillbarbie

World Gone Mad

Some days I feel like the whole world is officially on sale.

Everyone and their roommate are renting out available square footage in the DC area for the inauguration.  

(Seriously, if you want to pay me $100 bucks a night, you can crash in my tub.  It will be just like An American Tail.)

And my inbox is flooded with desperate emails from retailers all but paying us to take merchandise off their hands.

I've been ignoring most of these, just like I ignore friends who have "suddenly" gotten back in touch through Facebook, but one caught my eye.

Starting November 21st at Cusp, basically the whole store will be 40% off.

The sale will be in stores and online, so feel free to do a little browsing at work.

Just tell your boss I said it was ok.   In this topsy turvy universe, that just might fly.

Gossip Girl: Bonfire of the Vanity

Finally.  

Clothes.

On Blair, at least.

Looking gorge in an Alice and Olivia dress....

Mixing it up in a Bill Blass top (available online in the Queen's currency and altered to be backless)...
Continuing her love affair with Marc Jacobs Scribble fabric (looks like it was only on the runway)...

She also wore the Marc Bright Plaid Skirt and an Alice and Olivia top.

And with the other love of her life, Milly, but this one seems to only be available in Canada.

Damned Canucks.

My favorite ID?

The Waldorf family china.

Gossip Girl: There Might Be Blood

Sorry for the delay!  This will be a quick double header, mostly because Serena has decided to display her chest instead of actually wearing clothes and Jenny has forsaken pants altogether.

Exhibit A in pants-less-ness.

Tights are not pants people!

Live it.

Alas, only Blair shows brilliance in actually wearing clothes, as shown by her gorgeous red silk Catherine Malandrino dress.

Tune in for the next episode where hopefully the stylist earned his paycheck but putting together whole outfits, not just halvsies.

Gossip Girl: Pret-a-Poor-J

Sorry for the belated recap, election stuff, blah blah....

This episode was chock full o ugly, what with Jenny chopping her hair and going buck wild with a black eyeliner.

Serena's handbag is my favorite here...not her uber-skintight outfit.  The Devi Kroell hobo bag is fantastic, I've long coveted one of these bags.  But alas, even if I sold my soul to the Devil, it wouldn't cover the cost of that bag.

A more affordable luxury would be Blair's Marc by Marc Jacobs plaid skirt, a nice twist from the standard black watch.  It was available in the Chicago store when I visited, but be warned...skirts are shorter than they appear on TV.

The only thing worth looking at at that RISD post-student show was Blair's Temperley London dress.  Certainly not that doofy guest star artist.  Blech.

Lastly, and I can't find a good picture, Blair wears a green Rachel Comey blouse that would be perfect with a pencil skirt for a day at the office.  I'll race you to Barney's in Georgetown...

Grey Skies Ahead

I've always considered myself to be very progressive and open minded when it comes to most things.

But when the issue of nail polish colors, I'm practically Strom Thurmond.

I like pale pinks, dark reds, and well...that's it.

I never got into the black trend or it's bastard sister navy.  Don't even get me started on neons.

I guess I always felt that they could look ok on others, but certainly not on me.

But I was flipping through a Marie Claire and was literally struck dumb.

The model had perfect manicure of slate grey nails.

And it looked AWESOME.

Chic, demure, sophisticated and unexpected.  

The caption helpfully informed me that the shade was Rescue Beauty Lounge in Stormy.

So...here's the issue, I'm planning on trying it after an upcoming wedding manicure (a friend's!  not mine!  despite the dream I had where we restaged our wedding.  Bizarre.  I know) but I am looking for a facsimile....anyone see any perfect greys out there?

Protect and Serve

A coworker told a story recent about her mom getting a small skin cancer removed.

The scariest part?  Her doctor told her that she probably was exposed so much simply due to driving in her car and the sun through the window.

So, when a daily moisturizer with SPF showed up at my door, I lunged at it.

Despite my fear motivator, I've been really pleased with the moisturizer, DDF Correct and Protect UV Moisturizer SPF 15.  It definitely has that sunblock smell, which is making me a little wistful now that it's fricking freezing out.  However, I did get a little overzealous one morning and used a little too much.  Bad idea.  I ended up having to blot with a tissue while running out the door.  Use sparingly!

Best of all, I know that I am putting on sunscreen every morning.  And that makes the day a little easier to face.

(pun intended.  and lame.)