Say wha?

Ummm...how do Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag from The Hills rate invites to the White House Correspondents' Dinner???

I think it's a sign of the coming doomsday.  The four boobs of the Apocalypse.  Oh, and Lauren's make six.

photo courtesy of nymag.com

Scrub a dub dub

On a tip from my favorite time waster, New York Magazine's "The Cut" blog, I snagged a tube of Clean & Clear Soft In-Shower Facial.

It works like this...you smear the thick clay like goo all over your face while in the shower, and then do something else for one minute.

Then rub the scrub (ha!  that rhymes! oh, man, I'm tired.) into your face and wash off.

It leaves you with a clean tingly feeling and really soft and smooth skin.

Not bad for three minutes of your time and $6.99.

The only problem?  Resisting the urge to scrub right away and wait the full minute.  Lately I've just been falling asleep standing up, but I wouldn't recommend it.  

I have a shower curtain, not a door.  Ouch.

photo courtesy of drugstore.com

The L Word

That's right.

Lipstick.

Specifically, which one to wear to my wedding.

There are a lot of things to consider at this point. First of all, I'm usually a gloss girl. I like 'em sheer and shiny. However, I can't say that my future husband is going to look great in pictures wiping a bunch of goo off his mouth the second after the big kiss.

Second, there is the photo factor. I know that shiny can play poorly in photographs and I don't want my lips to be so pale during the wedding that I look washed out in the pictures.

Third, and most importantly, I want to look like me. Not some fantasy version of me where I can pull off a bright crimson mouth like Katherine Heigl at the Oscars, but me me. The girl who wears pink lipglosses like they are going out of style.

So, when the makeup artist gave me a really dark mouth at my trial, the hunt was on for a better alternative.

I searched high and low, looking for the right combination of sheer and rosy to make my mouth look like mine, but better.

A bunch of first attempts at Bergdorf's with my sister failed miserably, although she picked up a few items. I was given corals which made me want to yak and the same deep fuchsia color that the artist gave me.

A few weeks later, I stopped into the Space NK in Scarsdale before the catering tasting (yeah, that's right, my caterer is from Scarsdale. And she is AWESOME. If you want a rec, email me) and tried out a few. I liked a By Terry lipgloss, but the $55 price tag made me cringe a little. I'm kind of absurd when it comes to spending for makeup, but that crosses the line for me.

Next up, the salesperson recommended Talitha lip gloss by NARS.

It's a nice rosy color, deeper than what I'm used to, but my fiance said it didn't look gooey. I believe his actual words were, It wouldn't be terrible to kiss you with that on. True love, people. True love.

But I had my doubts.

So I dragged out every lipgloss hidden in purses around my apartment and started trying on. The winner? Bobbi Brown lipgloss in Hot Pink. Which isn't actually hot pink.

But the gloss factor bothered me. A stop into Blue Mercury revealed that the lip gloss, layered with the Creamy Lipstick in Pink Ballet was a nice combo.

But then again...there is always Black Honey by Clinique.

So, basically, I'm nowhere right now on this. My final dress fitting is today, and I'm planning on bringing the arsenal with me and trying them on while the hemming is done.

I'll let you know...

The Nail Files

I'm up in New York for this long weekend finalizing some wedding details before the last push.

Like, you know, getting a marriage license.

Oh, and big things, like picking out which nail polish color to wear on my toes!

Big details people. Almost as big as picking the future husband.

So, I spent a long day yesterday trudging around Manhattan with my mother and getting abused by some very nasty stationery people (evil woman at Kate's Paperie on 73rd and 3rd...I loathe you) while trying to get programs ordered.

On the walk back home, we stopped to get a Pinkberry...mmmm....Pinkberry and a pedicure at Pinky!

My mother picked out Limo-scene, a tried and true favorite for her, but a little to white white for me. I picked Spaghetti Strap, a pale, slightly sheer baby pink. I wanted to go with Blushing Bride...you know, because of the obvious suckering of me into anything with the word "bride," but the manicurist dissuaded me. Too sheer, she said.

The color looks great on my toes, but we raced home to check the color against my wedding shoes.

And therein lies the rub.

The shoes are a champagne color, and the pale pink looks too pink. So, the hunt continues.

Any Essie or OPI suggestions?

Earth Day Giveaway!

You might be sitting at your desk today thinking..."Hmmm, today is Earth Day.  And let's face it, I do so much for the earth, why won't the earth give back to me?"

Well, an answer has arrived!

Physician's Formula is giving away 1,000 Organic Bronzers today!

Just in time for faking a little spring glow, the Organic Wear Blush is available in six shades and is Ecocert organically certified.

Just click on the link above to enter.

So, give a little back to yourself!  And then get back to giving back to the Earth.

photo courtesy of physiciansformula.com

You know how you feel when you head into the Whole Body section of Whole Foods? 

That sort of virtuous superiority complex feeling of shopping for organic and natural products?

Well, now you can have that feeling right here at your own computer!

Stop by the Beautorium, a natural and organic beauty emporium where all the products have been selected for their natural products or organic status.

Now, since I am, as ever, a government wonk and an attorney, I feel the need to remind you that there is little to no regulation of the use of the terms "natural" and "organic" when it comes to cosmetics, so keep that in mind.  Also keep in mind that natural products can give you allergic reactions or make you break out.  Ok, I'm done.

So, browse around, maybe buy something that makes you feel like you are helping the planet and then go recycle something.

Post Wedding Attire

The ins and outs of wedding attire have been dissected by many people far more well versed in etiquette than me.

Black tie.

White tie.

Semi-Formal.

Garden Casual.

Whatever.

I already know what I'm wearing!

However, I have seen too many friends slogging through an after party in their beshambled wedding gown with hems drenched in dirt and just a spritz of red wine stains.  Not my idea of a good time.

While  I was planning on just changing into a regular party dress for the after party, I stumbled on a better solution while shopping during my "not-a-bachelorette-party" weekend.

This BCBG stunner of a dress struck me as white enough to scream to my friends at 3 am, "Hey!  I'm still the bride beeyotch!" but versatile enough to be worn at a New Year's or other cocktail party for a few years to come.

The only drawback?  I definitely can't wear it to another wedding.  My friend who is up next told me so.

HIgh and Dry

(ok, I totally warned you that all posts would be bridal from now on)

I don't think it matters if you are getting married in winter, spring, summer or fall...just the thought of standing up in front of that many people makes me break into a nervous sweat.

Now, maybe you are comfortable in those situations, but I sure as hell am not.

After surviving a few DC summers, I've learned a few things about deodorant.  Namely, that it has to actually be an anti-perspirant.

And the best one?

Certain Dri.

Yup.  It's ugly.  It's not going to look cute and fun on your bathroom counter.  But it works.

You have to remember to put it on every night before bed, and I would recommend starting at least a week before you need to be sweat free.

The other option?

Botox.  

I'm not kidding.

It's not exactly cheap, probably at least $500 a pop, and it's really only for hyperhidrosis but that REALLY works.

Personally, I'd try the drugstore option over the needles, I'm just putting it out there.

And stay cool and calm on the big day (even if it's the dead of winter!)

Disaster Looming

I received some pretty devastating news this weekend.

My mother informed me that Trish McEvoy was DISCONTINUING MY PERFUME!

My beloved Gardenia and White Musk!!

GONE!

The one scent my fiance actually LIKED!

Ugh!  Why me?!?

There were clues.  The big bottles disappeared from from stores, leaving only the travel sizes.  I was able to track down a bottle in Saks when mine had run out, but that took many hours of work that could have been devoted to government reform.

Yeah, sorry about that, taxpayers.

I'm off to drown my sorrows in multiple episodes of The Hills and a Skinny Cow popsicle.

In a Different World

I am a big fan of recognizing one's own limitations.

For instance, I wish that I was the kind of bride who really wanted to get married on the beach or city hall or in a garden with just my immediate family and buy a gown off the rack.

I really do.

But I'm not.  I wanted multiple fittings and trunk shows.  And I'm ok with that.

But if I was that kind of bride, here are two dresses that I would be actively considering:

JCrew, Lisette Gown, $2000

Go Green Go by Phillip Lim, One Shoulder Gown, $995

By the way...consider almost all posts from here on out about weddings in some fashion.  It takes over you brain!

photos courtesy of jcrew.com and barneys.com

Bridal Trial and Error

About a month ago, I had my hair and makeup trial for my wedding. 

I have to say, I was pretty nervous about it.

Most of the pictures that I saw in magazines were of women with shellacked hair, smokey eyes and squidgy looking lipgloss.  And I don't know about you, but my fiance would run the other way if I came down the aisle looking like that.

So when the hair and makeup artist showed up, I immediately started babbling about "natural" makeup and wanting "hair that wasn't crunchy."  They looked a little bewildered at first, but my mom calmed them down and let them know that I wasn't a Linda Blair-bride or something.

First came makeup.  The artist used a face primer and a lip scuffer to smooth out my chapped lips. She used MAC foundation and concealer (the same one I use!) and a fabulous combination of grey and pink eyeshadows with a little black eyeliner near the lashes.  She used a Mary Kay mascara in black on my lashes to finish the look.

The effect was really great.  

I looked like me.  Only better.

The last part of the picture was the lipstick.  The artist used a magenta-ey pink Mary Kay shade that I just didn't love.  As a devotee of pale pink glosses, the lipstick felt heavy handed to me.  And way too dark.  She explained that you need a brighter lip color for photographs, but the color never felt right to me.

Meanwhile, on my head....

The hair stylist began her work.  She immediately proclaimed that my hair was too soft and silky to hold a curl (damn you, Pantene!  You make my hair too soft for it's own good!!).  

She made do, curling my hair into soft waves and pulling half back into a little twist.  While the effect was perfect, especially with my dress (I had a fitting an hour after the trial) it wasn't smooth sailing.

There was a lot of hair spray involved in this process, and the curl started to come out even as she stood there.  

The prescription for what ails my hair?  No conditioner. 

How is that going to work?  I have to wash my hair that day.  In fact, I have to wash my hair every day.  I seriously can't not wash my hair.  She told me I could use a little light leave in conditioner, but that was it...

(did you like that double negative, mmm, weddings have made me dumb)

So.  Help me out people!  Does anyone have a recommendation for me?   Leave in conditioner, maybe even a spray?  Help a sister out!