Dear Salespeople in Nordstrom, Neimans, Bendels, Bergdorf's, Barneys, etc.
So...times are pretty tough, huh?
Sales are down, I know.
I know sometimes when you work in an industry that thrives on commissions and people spending money on frivolous things an economic downturn is pretty deadly. I understand the panic that I see in your eyes when I walk into the overly perfumed air near your counters.
And believe me, I am sympathetic.
I want to buy lipglosses I don't need and mascara that promises to make me stop traffic like like a five car pile-up on the Jersey Turnpike on a holiday weekend.
However, when you come swooping down with your crazy eyes and pleas of "CAN-I-INTEREST-YOU-IN-ANYTHING-NEED-ANY-HELP-CAN-I-SHOW-YOU-THIS" I just want to run away. And then I do in fact, run away. To be perfectly frank, I actually have credit to several major stores and have entered on multiple occasions intent on buying, only to be driven away by the Marrakesh bazaar-like atmosphere.
While I do love the DIY charms of my neighborhood Sephora, I've always enjoyed picking the brain of an expert at the department store. I like getting a makeover and picking my favorite product then walking out of the store feeling pretty. I like having someone show me something that I hadn't thought to try on my own.
But lately it's gotten out of hand. I think I even had a nightmare recently where the monkey from Raiders of the Lost Ark was running after me with a bottle of L'Air du Temps and the latest Juicy Tube and tries to force me into buying both.
So, this has been pretty disturbing to me as well. I'd like to broker a cease-fire.
If you stop trying to harass me into trying your stuff and let me peruse the counters at my leisure, I promise to buy some stuff. In fact, be a little aloof. Read "The Rules" or something. But be there when I need something. And all will be well.
If I get wind of any attempts to slather unwanted creams on my skin or get screechy about limited offers, I swear I will take all my disposable income to the nearest Sephora and never come back.
So please. Stop the madness. Back off a little. And I promise I will start spending.