Paradise Found

I've been thinking a lot about traveling to some tropical places. Like those hotels in Indonesia where you have your own bungalow or jetting off to Aruba. Places where you never change out of a bathing suit and you eat fresh fruit for like a week.

Riiiight. I watch way too much Travel Channel.

I burn under the moonlight, so scratch the frolicking in the sun is out. I actually don't even own a bathing suit that isn't from 1993. And I practically have scurvy from the mistaken belief that I can get all my daily vitamins from ingesting 3 double tall skim lattes a day.

Sometimes I supplement with peanut M&Ms!

So, maybe my island getaway vacation is pure fantasy, but I recently re-discovered a product that makes it feel like I've jetted to paradise.

After a long bike ride on Saturday during an absolutely gorgeous morning, I was inspired to, you know, look good that day. Actual effort here, people! Be proud of me.

I dug around in my scads of bottles on the bathroom sink (oh, fiance's foot has been firmly placed down. get rid of some of the stuff on the counter, or else!) and came up with my long lost sample of the NARS Monoi Body Glow II.

I wrote about this before, but this is a body oil that smells like you've died and gone to heaven. An island paradise where no one ever sunburns type of heaven. I slathered myself with the oil, hoping it hadn't gone rancid in the year it languished on my shelf.

Two minutes later, my fiance showed up to see if I was making any progress on the getting dressed so we could get on with the eating of brunch.

(oh, also, for all the DCites in the house, the ONLY time to go to Two Amys is lunch on the weekends. Heed my advice or be cast down into Dante's lost tenth circle of hell where you will be forced to wait two hours for a table while being shoved by waiting pseudohipsters threatening to spill wine on you, have your toes run over by mammoth double-wide strollers and then smacked in the knees by the children who should be in the strollers but are walking and carrying toys in a restaurant. At 10 pm.)

He starts sniffing around. I think I yelled something about promising to clean the counter soon, but he cut me off.

"What smells so good?"

Oooh. How unexpected. My fiance typically only comments on smells when we are fighting about who will take out the trash this week, so I was pleasantly surprised to hear him comment on the Body Glow.

And the accolades continued! By Sunday, I gave in and ran down to Blue Mercury to buy a bottle of the Monoi Body Glow. I may have to forgo a few lattes this week to pay for it, but I consider it an investment in the future marriage.

And hey, he's stopped commenting on the products in the bathroom. And that is paradise to me!

photo courtesy of sephora.com

Afternoon Delight

I did a little late afternoon e-shopping today.

Picked up this kicking pair of flats from J. Crew to feed into my new obsession with anything-but-black shoes.

Oh, and to the ridiculous chatter on the Washington Post fashion discussion today, I absolutely do not plan on matching them to my purse, so deal with it.

In fact, I bought these just to spite you.

Well, also because I don't have a green bag.

photo courtesy of jcrew.com

Why Didn't Anyone Tell Me Nine Months Ago?

Well, crap.

I just got my July issue of Vogue, and apparently the manny is this season's "chicest accessory!"

Seriously?

Now I'm going to be all unchic this summer, because not only do I not have a manny, I don't even have a baby to warrant the hiring of a manny.

Dammit.

I'm just going to sit in my cube and wallow in blatant unchic mannylessness.

One more way to prevent Real Work from taking place

Let it be known that I am a huge fan of procrastinating.

In interviews, I say I work best under a tight deadline.

One of my newest favorite idle pastimes is checking out Project Beltway, a blog devoted to highlighting great style around DC.

Honestly, I think this site is so great for two reasons:

1. It shows everyone that people in DC do actually wear things other than layered pop-collared polos with chino shorts and Rainbow flip flops (I live in Georgetown...this applies to both men and women.)

2. It inspires me to get my lazy ass out of that Ann Taylor hole and actually put together an Outfit my crying out loud. Oh, and maybe actually do something with my hair for once in my life.

And for all of you outside the Beltway, see! We aren't all office drones all the time! Well...some people aren't.

Oh, and PS. I'm issuing a fashion fatwa on that guy I saw who was wearing not one, not two, but THREE Lacoste shirts in sherbert colors with all collars popped.

Your ass is grass, dude.

When Good Things Come From Very Very Bad Things

Like any card carrying member of the American cable subscribing public, I watch a boatload of Law and Order reruns.

Damn you, Dick Wolf, and your entrancing characters and sick twisted plotlines! I swear, if Fred Thompson forces the networks to pull my reruns for some pseudo-Red Lion reason, there will be hell to pay.

Anyhoo.

During my countless hours devoted to watching Chris Meloni snatch up bad guys, I was also forced to watch umpteen commercials for the USA Network "mini-series" The Starter Wife. And let's just say that it looks, well, to use a word...feculant.

Ok, I said it. Berate me if you will, but that thing looks awful. And it's like 8 hours long.

Spread over a month.

Ack!

But I did notice that Essie did a line of nail polishes named after that go-get-em-girl! spirit that the series allegedly embodies, like "Wife Goes On" and "Pink-ing Up the Pieces." The best one that I found was actually named after the series, a pale and very sheer pink.

I shamefully purchased it and applied it in secret. It's a fantastic shade. It gives your nails that shiny but natural look, almost as if you are not actually wearing nail polish but you just have really healthy and pretty nails. And it looks good when performed by a non-professional!

I guess that was the idea. If you get dumped by your millionaire husband in a community property state and somehow get no money and then are forced to live in Malibu and choose between two hot guys vying for your affection, you need to have a nail polish that you can do yourself.

Riiight.

Whatever, I bet Serena Southerland does her own nails too.

Also, I went on a little nail polish binge so there will be lots more Essie related posts to come.

photo courtesy of nymag.com

Soft Spot

I have an admitted weakness for certain types of clothing and beauty products.


I could delve deep into my psyche and tell you that these items fit into a mental image of myself that I want to outwardly display.


Or maybe they are just cute!


Well, my latest fantasy wardrobe obsession is basically the entire Tory Burch collection. From her ubiquitous and much copied logo flats to her adorable dresses and chic tunic tops, her clothes are perfect for the life I don't actually have, but really really want.


For instance:






I would wear this dress for a relaxed summer Friday at the office before jetting off to the Hamptons in my Mini convertable with my fiance, arriving just in time to meet our equally chic friends for a quick glass of Prosecco while we watch the sun set.

And...

This would be perfect for shopping around Georgetown with the Bush twins. We'd clean out Intermix, then head over to Leopold's for brunch and skip the Euro trash traffic jam out front. Oh, right, I never work out, by the way, these legs are a birth right, like admission to Deerfield Academy.

I would wear this out on a summer night for drinks on a rooftop party. That's right. In my fantasy life, I wear white pants and they never get dirty.

Seriously though, some of the Tory Burch clothes are really great as separates and her clothes are not cut teensy tiny and come in a range of sizes. They can be reasonably priced if you catch a sale (like the one going on now online). I have one of her dickie sweaters from fall and I just love it.

Yup, I giggle every time I say "dickie" too.

So, I encourage you to look beyond the logo flats (seriously, if I see one more person in those...) and incorporate a little fantasy life into real life.

Is there any designer whose aesthetic embodies your fantasy life where shoes don't ever give you blisters, the humidity never gets above 30%, and you never lack an invitation to a killer party or something to wear to it?

photos courtesy of toryburch.com

Wedded Bliss

I spent the past weekend in Michigan attending a good friend's wedding. This also marked the first wedding I've attended out of town where I was not a member of the bridal party and therefore required to participate in multiple events where I was told how to walk, smile, and breathe, so that I don't screw up my friend's pictures forever.

So, while I wandered around the small Detroit suburb of Birmingham with my sister asking people, Rachael Ray-$40-a-Day style, where we could get a pedicure for less than the Devil would pay for my soul, we stumbled upon Todd's Room, a fantastic little beauty shop.

The concept is pretty fantastic. They carry several high end makeup and fragrance lines, like NARS, Fresh, L'Artisan, Becca, and DuWop as well as some offbeat stuff and accessories. Then, in the back, they have makeup artists who do application and lessons.

(Unfortunately not shown on the website, but they have the most adorable graphics)

They also did have a nail technician, but we had already gotten our cheapie mani/pedi, where the technician had actually snipped my sister which lead to many panic attacks that she would get "rabies."

I graciously informed her that was pretty much impossible. Tetanus and staph, on the other hand...

The thought of lip gloss seemed to calm her down and we set about trying on pretty much everything in the store. We both settled on NARS Pillow Talk, a sheer pinky brown color with just a hint of shimmer...and after a scare where the salesgirl could only find one tube...possibly leading to an international family incident we both left with a new look for the wedding.

it doesn't look like this at all. but I love the little tadpole shape.

They also had some products on sale...so I snagged a tube of Essie's gloss-e in Vanity Fairest at half off! It is described as "very twinkly and pinkly" on their website.

I mean, who can resist that?

All in all, the wedding was beautiful and my sister and I had the best lipgloss around...the best part about NARS lipglosses is that they stick around through the tears at the glass smashing, the post ceremony cocktail, and the never-ending slightly awkward toasts. However, pastry flakes from pigs-in-blankets should be approached with trepidation.

photos courtesy of sephora.com and essie.com

I Ain't Seen Sunshine Since I Don't Know When

The word of the day is "jail."

Apparently it's the hot place to be.

Paris just checked in.

Scooter's looking at a 30 month stay.

Old "Freezer Cash" Jefferson is bound to be headed there.

And while I won't profess to know the first thing about incarceration, I can say that I feel Cash's pain when he talks about not seeing the sun. Seriously, if I wanted to hide at work, I could dress in all white and stand against a hallway wall and close my eyes. No one would ever find me then.

But the threat of skin cancer and uneven blotchiness keep me clear of the actual sun and sunless tanners. So, to my surprise, I found I really liked the Physician's Formula Shimmer Strips that made their way to my doorstep.

Much like the gorgeous Bobbi Brown Shimmer Bricks, the Shimmer Strip is a block of shimmer powders in a variety of bronze, gold and pink tones. They can be swirled together and used like a bronzer or you can use each color on it's own as a shadow.

I love the Miami Strip/Healthy Glow shade, it gives me just a hint of color and shimmer without being too muddy looking. I bet if they made a Boca Raton Strip shade, it would make you wrinkly with a visor and kvetch about the rising cost of Manischewitz macaroons.

I was also shocked to see the virtual WALL of Physician's Formula powders, blushes and bronzers at my local crappot CVS. They have so many varieties, you are bound to find something that works for your skin tone.

Also, it's always nice to find an affordable version of a product that I can only use for a maximum of three months a year. No one would believe I turn that color before Memorial Day or after Labor Day.

In the meantime, I will be in the prison of my own beauty! Ha! Right.

photo courtesy of physiciansformula.com

Why Me? Why Me?!?

Ok, I'm confused.

After hearing RAVES about DiorShow mascara from such trusted bloggers as Blogdorf Goodman, Faking Good Breeding and DaddyLikey, I eagerly plunked down my twenty-three dollars (plus the exorbitant DC sales tax...no taxation without representation!) and skipped home with my fat little tube.

But when I started using it, I was dismayed with the results.

First, the brush is literally the size of the one I use on my bangs. I was excited about that at first but then...

Second, I got the stuff all over my eyelids. Everywhere. It was like that Amex ad with Ellen DeGeneres. All manner of careful application and pulling and looking sideways and not blinking versus blinking does not alleviate the situation. Maybe I have fat eyelids??? (The horror! The shame! Seriously? How is this possible?)

Third, perhaps it is merely the vicious allergy season here, but I ended up with whore eyes (where the mascara leaves rings under your eyes, aka walk of shame eyes) like you would not believe. I think half of the Senate thinks I went on a bender over Memorial Day recess.

Fourth, even after I cleaned up the collateral damage, but before the smudging, I wasn't that impressed with my lashes.

So tell me, am I missing something? I have heard such wonderful things and I want to love this.

Help me! I have many functions coming up for which lush black lashes would be so perfect... I feel so lost, so helpless...

Ok, I'm just kidding, I just don't want to leave work and walk home in the pouring rain.

photo courtesy of sephora.com