Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Oh Zoe.

For a little light reading with your coffee this morning, I recommend heading over to an article printed in the New York Times Magazine section this Sunday about stylist extraordinaire Rachel Zoe.

And by "stylist extraordinaire," I mean, freakishly skinny wrinkly woman who has some how transformed actresses into walking billboards for her friends and managed to talk them into dieting until they practically make Holocaust victims look rubenesque.

Some of the highlights:

Rachel will only drink Starbucks coffee. Even in Paris. A city with one of the greatest cafe cultures in the world. But, if you don't drink it there, you may as well just be a terrorist and hate America. You pinko Commie freak.

Zoe brusquely sends back a plate of steamed vegetables at a Paris restaurant because there is a small dollop of some kind of sauce. Rachel, apparently, cannot tolerate sauce or calories of any kind.

Also consumed in the article: diet Snapple and tea.

Rachel is in shock to hear that vegetables actually DO contain calories.

Readers are informed that her last name is pronounced "Zoh," like "No." However, when she was just a babe in Jersey, people pronounced her middle name "ZOH-ee" like everyone else. Oh, she also dropped the surname "Rosenzweig."

Clients will not be dressed in any color that does not flatter the stylist herself.

We discover the mystery of the Marchesa explosion. It's what you thought. Harvey Weinstein decided that people should wear his girlfriend's clothes and Zoe made it happen.

Her ring tone is "Riders on the Storm" by the Doors. 'Cause that's not cliche in a look-at-how-highbrow-recherche-I-am way.

Nicole Kidman is one demanding crazy person.

The author of the article does not seem to disguise a sense of amusement and distaste for Zoe. Great reading though....

photos courtesy of nytimes.com


Anonymous said...

Wow. Just wow.

B said...

Can you blame the writer? How does one hide disdain for a person who weighs 20 pounds and insists that everyone else does too?

Chic and Charming said...

I'm a pretty big fan of: “I wish caffeine had vitamins in it” from the article.

Distar said...

totally hilarious right? I read this and immediately re-read. Especially the bit about the Starbucks in Paris had me startled... And the steamed veggies bit was tooo much. You so know the Parisians see her as "the ugly Americaine" they must tolerate.

I have to say I was suprised by the bit about Nicole Kidman- you'd think she'd support her indie's small budget by not making ridiculous demands...

GablesGirl said...

Seriously. 6 pages of Times ink on Rachel Zohwhoreallycares?! Their style writers have reached a new low. Though the not so thinly veiled distaste is appreciated. Not for six pages. But still appreciated.

Anonymous said...

Sep 20

Lynn Hirschman has written some great profiles over the years and this is one of her best.

Now it's pretty hard to look at an awards show without wondering: Who's yer stylist?

-- desertwind

PS - I was just hoppin' through some of my Project Runway folder bookmarks and wandered over. Geez, but it's been a long time. I guess we'll be seeing your recaps for Season 4? Hope so.

Anonymous said...

PS - The update to this story is hillarious. I doubt that whoever -- or on whoever's behalf -- got a correction out of the Times quite expected this:

"An article on Page 46 of The Times Magazine today about Rachel Zoe, a stylist who works with many film and TV stars, misstated the location of the premiere of the Nicole Kidman film “Fur,” for which Ms. Kidman requested a travel budget of more than $100,000 for her stylist and other assistants. It was the Rome Film Festival, not the Venice Film Festival."

-- desertwind

Fabulously Broke in the City said...

Uh.... she sounds pretty f*cked up.

Is she for real??..

I'm glad to be me... the day I send back a dish because it had some flavour to it via the sauce.. is the day I should just stop living altogether LOL!!!

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