Project Runway: Money Changes Everything

Let me start by saying that my viewing of this episode started on a low note, having baked two pies, six sweet potatoes and eaten at least three dozen marshmallows intended for the top of aforementioned sweet potatoes. And Gossip Girl was a rerun.





And then I passed out while watching the judging.





But never fear!! I Tivo in addition to watching live.



So, we start off this episode with the typical wakey-wakey shots in the luxury digs and the designers head out to meet the second challenge.



At the runway, Heidi tells the designers that they will be designing for an icon. They all look suitably excited. They head back to the workroom where Tim tells them that their icon is....SARAH JESSICA PARKER!!!!



Then the room erupts like it's the second coming of Jesus Christ himself.



Seriously, I haven't seen hyperventilating and weeping with joy like this since bloggers got ahold of the Mark Foley IM transcripts.



Once it finally quiets down, SJP explains that she has a line for Steve and Barry stores called Bitten, and it's for the everyday woman and it's super cheap. Like, you only get to use the change you can find in your pockets to buy fabric cheap. (Ok, fine, $15. But honestly? I could blow that at Starbucks in like an hour. Not enough for a whole outfit.)



But first, they must sketch and present, which is always the funniest part of any episode. Chris totally pulls a brainfart and goes mute with tears in his eyes. Many people want to touch SJP. Joey Faketone leaves her handshake hanging....ouch! It's clear who she is going to chose as team leaders...and they are...Raimi, Christian, Victorya, Marion, Kit Pistol, Ricky and Elissa.



Wait.



Huh?



Oh yeah, Elissa got picked. I feel that this was some colossal joke on who ever had to be on her team in an effort to get that person kicked out. Because there is no way a reality TV gem like Elissa is getting kicked out.



Oh, and ps, on FashionGateWatch...Ricky is sporting a fishnet Village People hat AND a trucker hat. Also, Carmen's sleeves threaten to knock models off the runway and take over the universe.



So, they pick teams and Sweet P gets the shaft and has to work with Elissa. Because she already told the camera that she wants to be on a good team. Sucker!



They all shop and scrimp, then it's back to the workroom where Elissa spit marks her fabric. Oh, did anyone miss that? SPIT. Like saliva. On her fabric. That someone else was going to wear.



Can I get an EWWWW?



Other than that, the sewing scenes were rather boring. The real drama came on the runway!



First, Ricky and Jack created a magenta peasanty looking dress. Looks cute and nice and all, but nothing spectacular.



Raimi and Jillian produce a shirtdress tunicey thing over leggings. Also, passable, not blowing my footless tights off though.



Kit and Chris make another tunic type garment over leggings. Theirs is cut snugger and shorter. Very cute on the model, not so super cute on a nongamine, but they earn a pass.



Elissa and Sweet P produce a cape and jersey dress. Both are interesting, but seriously, why do fashion people always want us to wear capes? Just let it go! It's weird! A poncho was as close as I got, and that was a little uncomfortable. Elissa insists on calling the dress polymorphic, which I understand, but it makes her sound totally bananas.



Christian and Carmen produce a teal tube dress and jacket which Christian, bless his heart, choking back tears in the face of criticism, insists that even the plus-est sized woman can wear his clingy dress and motorcycle jacket. Carmen also does a poor imitation of someone who cares when saying that Christian should get kicked out instead of her. I would have booted her right then and there.



However, the judges reserved that pleasure for Marion, who, on a team with Steven, who may or may not be a serial killer, created an enormous cape-y poncho (again! with the effing cape!) that made the model look like a really tall hairball. See ya...wouldn't want to be ya! Also, the "can I have some more?" Oliver Twist thing is really not a style choice I can get behind.



The winners? Clearly Victorya and Joey Faketone, who produced a sweet little tie neck trapeze dress and plaid vest with a racerback. You can pick it up at a Steve and Barry store near you. I would, but I have no idea what this store even is.



So...another mildly memorable contestant bites the dust....



Give me some more Elissa insanity! That chick is looney!!



As always, Blogging Project Runway for all the scoop and speculation about the next episode. The HARDEST CHALLENGE...wait for it....not yet...EVER!!!!