Project Runway: Fashion Giant

This episode was billed as the MOST DIFFICULT CHALLENGE EVER!!!!

And, honestly, I don't think they oversold it. Well, yes, they totally did, but towards those last few minutes when Tim was chiding Carmen and Sweet P to get their asses on the runway, I was getting a little edgy.

So, after Heidi delivers the challenge, the designers take a field trip to 10 Rockerfeller Plaza, home to oh so many GE subsidiaries. And standing there is...Tiki Barber!! Star running back for the Giants until retiring last year to report on sob story segments for the Today Show.

And the only person that they let comment on that was Joey Faketone, in order to solidify his straight-man status.

Also, at this point, my die hard Redskins fan fiancee who was watching with me blurts out, "Uh, Tiki is such a bitch. I hate the Giants." And then retreated to the bedroom to read.

He was back for the judging though....

So the challenge is this: Design an outfit for Tiki to wear on the Today Show, but keep in mind that the man's got a booty and a thick neck. And he likes dark colors. And details. (Thanks Joey F.)

So all the designers proceed to flip out since almost none have done menswear and it is significantly more difficult than womenswear.

The typical bitch and stitch segments were broken up by some extra special stress hilarity! First, we watch as Christian gets toted into the workroom by He-Man Jack in both an actual totebag and then piggyback. He's like a little doll!

Then we watch the claws come out when Jack dismembers his own shorts to make a pattern for his pants, and then let others copy the pattern for their own, a move many felt had shades of cheating.

And then! When the male models showed up, you would think that the designers had been in the all-female Navy or something the way that the all started drooling over the rippling man muscles and flowing shiny hair. All except Joey Fake (because he's STRAIGHT, y'all) and Elissa, who apparently considers fitting clothes on a man tantamount to swapping bodily fluids.

So, with much discarding of best laid plans, all the designers make it to the runway, although there was some busted up stuff on those walking mansicles.

Only moderately busted:

Raimi, whose khaki jacket, button down and dark pants made a sleek casual weekend look. Actually, this was one of my favorites, but I can understand that it may have been too casual for the challenge.



Christian, whose asymmetric camel sweater outfit I thought was a little odd, but my fiance deemed it "wearable."



Jillian's dark three piece suit was nice, tailored, and appropriate. But honestly, I have a real problem with the white collar-blue shirt look. There is a special place in shirt hell for those things.

beam me up Scotty!!

Chris sent down an outfit that I honestly loathed. I thought the jacket looked like something up for auction from the Star Trek set. But the judges had bigger fish to fry.

Victorya seemed to ignore the dark color mandate and sent a white jacket prancing down. Whatever, she's immune.



Steven. Oh man. How did this escape the scathing crotch comments?? Did anyone take a good look at these high waisted pants? Seriously? Ugh. And what's with the scarf? Is he trying to hide Tiki's man-neck? Poor form!



Elissa's model looked like an escapee from a mental health seminar. One where you all repeat overly wordy platitudes out loud and probably end up drinking some freaky Kool-Aid. At least there weren't any visible spit marks.



Most Busted!



Oh man.



Sweet P's shirt came out weird twice. I guess she doesn't look like she would be the next Thomas Pink or anything, but at least I give her credit for being honest about what happened and at least styling it artfully on the runway.



Ricky, sporting a Confederate soldier hat, weeping profusely about his pinned together garment was spared. At least his crotch was proportionate. I guess the South did rise again.



Okay, Carmen. WTF??? Make a shirt! A T-shirt! Anything! And Kors was right. That crotch was all kinds of crazy. It was nice knowing you.



All Kinds of NOT Busted.



Joey Faketone made a hot looking three piece look with a purple shirt and vest. For some reason, Heidi is revolted by the idea of her husband, Seal, in purple. Huh? I think purple can look great on men. Oh well, I think a lot of people, including Joey, thought that he would win, but alas, it was not to be. I thought Tiki would be just mesmerized by the pocket square. I mean, who wouldn't be?!?



Kit Pistol got the shaft in this one. I'm sorry. No offense to Jack, but I thought her outfit was really nice. A navy fleece blazer with those double vents to allow Tiki's butt to breathe or something, khaki pants, and a classic white shirt. I really liked this outfit. I may actually find similar things and dress my fiance up in this outfit.



But, Kit lost out to Jack and his short-stealing ways. Granted, the dark pants and tailored shirt were made infinitely more interesting by the details on the shirt, but I feel like he abandoned so much that the look was kind of blah. However, I don't mind having Jack around for longer...maybe we'll get to see him bench press Christian.



I can't say it enough...Blogging Project Runway tides you over til next week!