Project Runway: Sew Us What You've Got

Oh. Thank god. It's back.


Of course I mean that the little geniuses who run Bravo have rounded up a questionably talented yet unquestionably insane pack of designers to entertain us through another season of delightful reality television!


Yay!


I'm so excited that I am choosing to ignore all conflicts that my Tivo is currently facing on Wednesday nights.


I will also ignore the fact that the producers at Bravo have meanly NOT provided us with a "Road to the Runway" episode where we get to mock all the rejects along with Tim Gunn on his road trip with the greatest hits from past seasons and harpies from Elle Magazine. Damn you!!



So, instead, we are introduced to this season's contestants as they meet each other, "Real World"-style in the generic "luxury" apartment buildings which are currently giving cockroaches and Starbucks a run for their money when it comes to taking over Manhattan.



The challenge this week was to do the 50 yard dash across Bryant Park (no time to stretch first? WTF?) grab some of the gagillion dollars worth of fabric furnished by Mood and make a dress that exemplifies "your" style.


Run, designers, run!


Okay, as always, with the beginning of any reality show, I can never keep all the contestants straight, but here goes!




Let's start with Christian, the little wannabe Brit wunderkind, because I think he would like that. He is oh so carefully hipster styled in his asymmetric hair and braggart ways, but the kid delivered. Honestly, I didn't love his piece on the runway, and I really didn't like it when he back talked to Tim Gunn, but upon second look, the piece strikes me as a Burberry outfit gone cool. I like it more the more I look at it. I also liked his clear disappointment in not winning the challenge. I guess they don't teach stoicism at his fancy London design school.



The uber-pale quartet: Steven, Kit Pistol, Sweet P and Marion. Yawn. Oh and by the way, "Kit Pistol," it's called a pseudonym. Not a "Mark Twain." The viewers of Project Runway are not idiots. You can use big words around us, it's not the Fox Business Channel or anything.



Jillian seems mostly normal, smartly choosing a bold color and using that to enhance a rather simple dress.

Carmen A. Webber, as she likes to be called, seems to think that being a good model makes you a good designer. Having seen what Marc Jacobs looked like pre-post-rehab-workout binge allows me to be to beg to differ. Also, what is up with the puff sleeve jackets?? She's wearing one in every frame, she makes one for her model and is shown making ANOTHER in the previews!! Maybe she is one really just of Clinton Portis's characters. She gets the Angela Death by Fleurchon Award for this episode.





Chris is probably the most interesting character to me right now. He is a costume designer, and sort of falls in the Kayne-uh-oh-a-non-fashion-designer-designer mold, but he turned out a beautiful, theatrical gown that wasn't costumey at all. I'm eager to see what else he produces.





Ricky. Poor poor Ricky. Cried in his interview about what he does (lingerie designer). Seems to have an entire wardrobe of Village People hats and sent a garment down the runway that looked like it could have been found on a rack at Forever 21. Re: not really really bad (we'll get to that in a minute...Elisa!) but certainly not good.





Jack looks like the most symmetrical man on earth. So classically handsome. Looks like he's got some controversy in the future. His dress won runner up for my dress-I-would-actually-want-to-wear contest.





Kevin...does this guy look like Joey Fatone or what? I mean, talk about your built in Halloween costumes! Wow, I'm calling him Joey Faketone from now on.






Victorya is definitely one of my favorites. She seems low-key and she turned out a pretty, feminine cocktail dress that didn't look like a total rehash of every other trend I've ever seen. I loved the look of the arm bands, but I agree with Monsieur Orange, no hailing cabs. Well...that's what men are for...





As for Rami, well, you could tell he was going to win this challenge from minute one. I mean the one where Tim walked in and said, "Stunning." Serious contender in this one unless he implodes or bores Nina with the same outfit six weeks in a row.


And that brings me to Elisa and Simone. Unfortunately for Simone, while her outfit was boring, simple and looked like it had been sewn by a three year old on meth, she was up against Elisa who was clearly NOT about to get kicked off. She has her own theme music! Already! Elisa is clearly the whack-job of the show and will remain firmly entrenched as better designers get kicked out for lesser offenses because she reminds people why lithium was invented.


She also kind of reminds me of John Cusack's character in "Being John Malkovich" with the marionette puppets. Anyone else?


Also, this was a special episode for me as Monique Lhuillier was the guest judge. I picked out one of her designs to wear to my own wedding!


As always, please check in with the wonderful folks at Blogging Project Runway for all the scoop and see you for a recap on Turkey Day!

photos courtesy of bravo.com