Project Runway: What a Girl Wants

Ok, I'm dispensing with the previouslies recap because I want to get down to the challenge, which, in my opinion, was AWESOME.

Design a prom dress for a seventeen year old Catholic school senior, with her help!

It smacks of the original season's "model's wedding dress challenge" which was one of my favorite episodes. These challenges pit designers against their models, who are no longer just clothes hangers but involve a level of fantasy for the client and license to give their opinion in all it's tacky bedazzled glory.

Hell, I still have dreams about my prom dress.

It rocked, fyi.

So, not only did the girls get to have input, they got to pick which designer they wanted to make the dress of their dreams. Well, except Victorya's client who admitted right off the bat that they were both the last ones standing. Apparently Catholic school doesn't teach these chicks the art of tactful lying. Well, it is in New Jersey.

Speaking of the Garden State, Joey Faketone blabs to the camera about his roots in Jersey. Like no one saw that coming. The prom pic of the fake tan and the mushroom haircut was priceless though.

We also got a glimpse into the past "straight" life of Ricky, where his mom made all of his clothes, he couldn't be creative, and he made his prom date's dress. And it was a GIRL! And he cries. Seriously, every episode I just count the minutes until Ricky turns on the waterworks. I wonder if he has a medical condition? Overactive lacrimealia? Or maybe it's the HRT.

Christian wins the "crazy difficult client" contest, walking away with two days full of torture and angst filled work hours! Maddie storms in like the monster in Cloverfield, and grabs Christian's pencil, announcing that she is a designer too!

Puh-lease! She requests a hot mess of lace and diamonds and tulle while Christian's soul begins to visibly weep. I would say he deserves it for being such an ass-clown for the past million episodes, but this kid is over the top. My stony exterior begins to crack as real emotions are felt for the first time.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Sweet P is wrangling a girl with too many hormones and an appetite for hootchie. The client basically requested a white version of the infamous J-Lo Grammy dress, meaning two hankies and string. Sweet P does an excellent job of listening and then scaling back on the whore factor by about 47%.

The sight of the tattooed, pierced, former naughty Catholic schoolgirl worrying about what this dress would lead to on prom night (namely, whatever she did) is too cute. Also, who's the hot surfer dude from the prom photo? I'm impressed, P!

As the sewing continues, we realize that Joey Faketone is in trouble due to his abject refusal to hem the dress, despite being told by the entire universe that he will get his ass handed to him by Nina for it. Also, Victorya says screw her client, she's making a bubble dress and no one will tell her not to. Oh, and Christian has descended into the 8th circle of hell. Dante didn't have the imagination to come up with a chick like this.

The moms also visit for the fittings and say all the things my mom would say!

Doesn't that waist make you look pregnant?

Isn't it a little too short?

I'm just concerned that color isn't for you.

Well, maybe the waist just makes you look fat, not pregnant.

On to the runway!

Just as an aside, it's always fun to watch real teenagers totter around in heels as opposed to the hormone fed crazy sophisticated starlets and models that the media force-feeds us. It's so innocent looking.

On the runway, Kit, Chris, and Jillian get a pass. I liked all three dresses, although my fiance made retching noises at Chris's and I thought Jillian's "model" needed a better bra.

Wow, now I sound like my mother.

Pulled out for further scrutiny:

Christian, who tried to blame Maddie, who in turn played dumb and looked offended, even though that chocolate brown and black lace was a total fiasco of pleating and ruffles and evil.

Rami, although immune from elimination, who made a signature dress in a chartreuse green. I didn't think it looked bad per se, and not even that old (although compared to these girls I'm like Angela Lansbury over here) but Michael Kors delivered the "matronly" kiss of death.

Ricky, weepy as always, gets hammered for his wispy baby pink bubble dress that washes the girl out and looks crooked. I did like the idea of covering the jewels with the tulle though.

OK. That is IT! I cannot take any more bubble hems! IT'S CRAP! STOP THE MADNESS!

And Joey Faketone just gets the absolute hammer of ire from the judges. They called his red babydoll halter dress cheap looking. They said that it made the model look like an old hooker, basically. And his hem was poo. I knew right then that we would be saying bye, bye, bye to Joey.

Oh, man. I couldn't help myself. I'm sorry.

On the winning end, I think the judges made the wrong choice. AGAIN.

They picked Victorya's bright blue bedazzled collar dress over Sweet P's elegant but sexy satin Jean Harlow gown? Give me a break! That jeweled neckline looked like a disco ball that my friend had in college. In the NINETIES!!!

Sweet P's girl looked like a million bucks. And not like anyone was going to pay her a million bucks, if you know what I mean. I think Sweet P did an exemplary job of negotiating the client's wants and her own morality and ended up with a beautiful result.

But, as Tim says, "Chacun son gout."

True that. True that.

Check out Blogging Project Runway if you know what's good for you!