When Divine Intervention Attacks!

There are days when the stars align, the winds are blowing the right direction, the gods smile, and you find a pair of shoes that you loved in an ad six months ago, but didn't buy because they were too expensive, on sale for 70 percent off. In your size.

Last week I had one of those days.

The shoes in question?

The Cole Haan Dalya Mary Jane in black patent leather. With Nike Air technology.

The clouds seemed to open up and the heavens seemed to sing as I sashayed out of Bloomingdale's shopping bag in tow. It's pretty much as close as I get to a religious epiphany.

However, last Saturday, I had another religious experience. One where I was begging for divine intervention to stop the pain in my feet!

Now, as some of you may know, I'm a big fan of the suck-it-up-and-wear-the-shoes-God-made-pretty. But I'm always looking for ways to ease the pain, and Cole Haan's integration of sneaker technology from Nike into real shoes was intriguing.

When I first got the mary janes in question, I was thrilled with the bouncy cushioning and rubber soles on the shoes. I even bragged to a co-worker about how cool they were. Well, obviously hubris had consequences.

After a long night of dancing at a friend's birthday party, I found myself hobbling into my apartment in my pretty shoes, begging for someone, anyone, to take away the throbbing pain in my toes. Luckily, I passed out before finding the leftover Percocet in my bathroom cabinet.


The next morning, while staring contemptuously through a nasty hangover at my shoes, I noticed that a few of my toes had actually GONE NUMB. Like nerve damage numb. It's coming back now (thirty-six hours later!) but seriously!

Now, I'm a glutton for pain when it comes to looking pretty, so I fully plan on wearing the shoes again, but heed this! Don't go buying these shoes for the comfort factor. Just stock up on pain killers and anti-inflammatories.