Monday, June 16, 2008

The Closet Chronicles

So, just in case I didn't have enough changes in my life (switching jobs, merging my financial future with another human being, etc.) we're moving!

Yeah, we are a "we" now.

Ok, it's only like three blocks away, but I'm hoping to build myself a little blogging office closet!

But before I can think about future closets, I need to clean out my overstuffed current closet.

Now, if you aren't Carrie Bradshaw, and don't have access to multiple bottles and champagne and friends for a clothing montage, this might be kind of brutal.  So I offer you my rules for closet blitzkrieg.

First.  Put something on the TV, play music or something to distract your subconscious.  Do not attempt to do this with booze!  You will get sentimental and no progress will be made.

Second, pull out clothing in stacks.  Really get in there, take a big chunk, sort, and then go back for more.

Third, be RUTHLESS.  Like Atilla the Hun or Tom DeLay or something.  If you haven't worn it in a year and it's not something that appears on those "Classics Forever" articles, chuck it.

Fourth, when you get sentimental about something that you bought, but then only wore a few times, think about someone less fortunate than you wearing it.  

Fifth, do not...under any circumstances...try to donate things that are hole filled, stinky, or underwear.  No one wants that.

Sixth, if you get discouraged, flip through Domino Magazine or peruse and drool over the glorious clutter free-ness.

Seventh, if you bought something from a relatively upscale retailer but it just didn't look great on you (BCBG seersucker bermuda shorts, I'm looking at you) - keep in a separate pile and bring to a consignment shop or other such place.  My fave is Mustard Seed in Bethesda.

Eighth, use some Force Flex garbage bags to bundle your giveaways and throwaways.  Those babies do not tear.

Ninth, once things are bagged, get rid of them!

Tenth, now that everything is neat and you have trimmed the closet fat, treat yourself!  Now is time to booze it up.

I'm doing my best to practice what I preach, but this is not easy...godspeed, all!


Anonymous said...

fabulous advice. my closet thanks you.

grey cat and me said...

I empathize. I'm doing the same thing, only with my entire apartment as I prepare to move to another country. I too experienced a little Carrie Bradshaw envy.

anna said...

Wow I did this about six months ago, and before my old clothes made it out the door my mom went through the bags and kept what she wanted! I'm not pissed that she took my hand me downs that I didn't first offer to her (which I did with some things).

She took things that she should never be seen wearing. Things that were trends three years ago and kind of tattered, stained, or no longer fit me and in NO WAY fit her. Keep your fugly hand me downs away from your sticky-fingered loved ones!

sushi said...

If, like me, you're a tad anal, every time the seasons change (I live in the Northeast where summer and winter require totally different apparel), don't just put your stuff away. Toss what doesn't fit, you haven't worn for the last two years, always looked disasterous, etc. Even if it's only three items, it feels like loosing five pounds (well, maybe two) and it keeps you relatively up to date.

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