Say wha?

Ummm...how do Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag from The Hills rate invites to the White House Correspondents' Dinner???

I think it's a sign of the coming doomsday.  The four boobs of the Apocalypse.  Oh, and Lauren's make six.

photo courtesy of nymag.com

Scrub a dub dub

On a tip from my favorite time waster, New York Magazine's "The Cut" blog, I snagged a tube of Clean & Clear Soft In-Shower Facial.

It works like this...you smear the thick clay like goo all over your face while in the shower, and then do something else for one minute.

Then rub the scrub (ha!  that rhymes! oh, man, I'm tired.) into your face and wash off.

It leaves you with a clean tingly feeling and really soft and smooth skin.

Not bad for three minutes of your time and $6.99.

The only problem?  Resisting the urge to scrub right away and wait the full minute.  Lately I've just been falling asleep standing up, but I wouldn't recommend it.  

I have a shower curtain, not a door.  Ouch.

photo courtesy of drugstore.com

The L Word

That's right.

Lipstick.

Specifically, which one to wear to my wedding.

There are a lot of things to consider at this point. First of all, I'm usually a gloss girl. I like 'em sheer and shiny. However, I can't say that my future husband is going to look great in pictures wiping a bunch of goo off his mouth the second after the big kiss.

Second, there is the photo factor. I know that shiny can play poorly in photographs and I don't want my lips to be so pale during the wedding that I look washed out in the pictures.

Third, and most importantly, I want to look like me. Not some fantasy version of me where I can pull off a bright crimson mouth like Katherine Heigl at the Oscars, but me me. The girl who wears pink lipglosses like they are going out of style.

So, when the makeup artist gave me a really dark mouth at my trial, the hunt was on for a better alternative.

I searched high and low, looking for the right combination of sheer and rosy to make my mouth look like mine, but better.

A bunch of first attempts at Bergdorf's with my sister failed miserably, although she picked up a few items. I was given corals which made me want to yak and the same deep fuchsia color that the artist gave me.

A few weeks later, I stopped into the Space NK in Scarsdale before the catering tasting (yeah, that's right, my caterer is from Scarsdale. And she is AWESOME. If you want a rec, email me) and tried out a few. I liked a By Terry lipgloss, but the $55 price tag made me cringe a little. I'm kind of absurd when it comes to spending for makeup, but that crosses the line for me.

Next up, the salesperson recommended Talitha lip gloss by NARS.

It's a nice rosy color, deeper than what I'm used to, but my fiance said it didn't look gooey. I believe his actual words were, It wouldn't be terrible to kiss you with that on. True love, people. True love.

But I had my doubts.

So I dragged out every lipgloss hidden in purses around my apartment and started trying on. The winner? Bobbi Brown lipgloss in Hot Pink. Which isn't actually hot pink.

But the gloss factor bothered me. A stop into Blue Mercury revealed that the lip gloss, layered with the Creamy Lipstick in Pink Ballet was a nice combo.

But then again...there is always Black Honey by Clinique.

So, basically, I'm nowhere right now on this. My final dress fitting is today, and I'm planning on bringing the arsenal with me and trying them on while the hemming is done.

I'll let you know...

The Nail Files

I'm up in New York for this long weekend finalizing some wedding details before the last push.

Like, you know, getting a marriage license.

Oh, and big things, like picking out which nail polish color to wear on my toes!

Big details people. Almost as big as picking the future husband.

So, I spent a long day yesterday trudging around Manhattan with my mother and getting abused by some very nasty stationery people (evil woman at Kate's Paperie on 73rd and 3rd...I loathe you) while trying to get programs ordered.

On the walk back home, we stopped to get a Pinkberry...mmmm....Pinkberry and a pedicure at Pinky!

My mother picked out Limo-scene, a tried and true favorite for her, but a little to white white for me. I picked Spaghetti Strap, a pale, slightly sheer baby pink. I wanted to go with Blushing Bride...you know, because of the obvious suckering of me into anything with the word "bride," but the manicurist dissuaded me. Too sheer, she said.

The color looks great on my toes, but we raced home to check the color against my wedding shoes.

And therein lies the rub.

The shoes are a champagne color, and the pale pink looks too pink. So, the hunt continues.

Any Essie or OPI suggestions?

Earth Day Giveaway!

You might be sitting at your desk today thinking..."Hmmm, today is Earth Day.  And let's face it, I do so much for the earth, why won't the earth give back to me?"

Well, an answer has arrived!

Physician's Formula is giving away 1,000 Organic Bronzers today!

Just in time for faking a little spring glow, the Organic Wear Blush is available in six shades and is Ecocert organically certified.

Just click on the link above to enter.

So, give a little back to yourself!  And then get back to giving back to the Earth.

photo courtesy of physiciansformula.com

You know how you feel when you head into the Whole Body section of Whole Foods? 

That sort of virtuous superiority complex feeling of shopping for organic and natural products?

Well, now you can have that feeling right here at your own computer!

Stop by the Beautorium, a natural and organic beauty emporium where all the products have been selected for their natural products or organic status.

Now, since I am, as ever, a government wonk and an attorney, I feel the need to remind you that there is little to no regulation of the use of the terms "natural" and "organic" when it comes to cosmetics, so keep that in mind.  Also keep in mind that natural products can give you allergic reactions or make you break out.  Ok, I'm done.

So, browse around, maybe buy something that makes you feel like you are helping the planet and then go recycle something.

Post Wedding Attire

The ins and outs of wedding attire have been dissected by many people far more well versed in etiquette than me.

Black tie.

White tie.

Semi-Formal.

Garden Casual.

Whatever.

I already know what I'm wearing!

However, I have seen too many friends slogging through an after party in their beshambled wedding gown with hems drenched in dirt and just a spritz of red wine stains.  Not my idea of a good time.

While  I was planning on just changing into a regular party dress for the after party, I stumbled on a better solution while shopping during my "not-a-bachelorette-party" weekend.

This BCBG stunner of a dress struck me as white enough to scream to my friends at 3 am, "Hey!  I'm still the bride beeyotch!" but versatile enough to be worn at a New Year's or other cocktail party for a few years to come.

The only drawback?  I definitely can't wear it to another wedding.  My friend who is up next told me so.

HIgh and Dry

(ok, I totally warned you that all posts would be bridal from now on)

I don't think it matters if you are getting married in winter, spring, summer or fall...just the thought of standing up in front of that many people makes me break into a nervous sweat.

Now, maybe you are comfortable in those situations, but I sure as hell am not.

After surviving a few DC summers, I've learned a few things about deodorant.  Namely, that it has to actually be an anti-perspirant.

And the best one?

Certain Dri.

Yup.  It's ugly.  It's not going to look cute and fun on your bathroom counter.  But it works.

You have to remember to put it on every night before bed, and I would recommend starting at least a week before you need to be sweat free.

The other option?

Botox.  

I'm not kidding.

It's not exactly cheap, probably at least $500 a pop, and it's really only for hyperhidrosis but that REALLY works.

Personally, I'd try the drugstore option over the needles, I'm just putting it out there.

And stay cool and calm on the big day (even if it's the dead of winter!)

Disaster Looming

I received some pretty devastating news this weekend.

My mother informed me that Trish McEvoy was DISCONTINUING MY PERFUME!

My beloved Gardenia and White Musk!!

GONE!

The one scent my fiance actually LIKED!

Ugh!  Why me?!?

There were clues.  The big bottles disappeared from from stores, leaving only the travel sizes.  I was able to track down a bottle in Saks when mine had run out, but that took many hours of work that could have been devoted to government reform.

Yeah, sorry about that, taxpayers.

I'm off to drown my sorrows in multiple episodes of The Hills and a Skinny Cow popsicle.

In a Different World

I am a big fan of recognizing one's own limitations.

For instance, I wish that I was the kind of bride who really wanted to get married on the beach or city hall or in a garden with just my immediate family and buy a gown off the rack.

I really do.

But I'm not.  I wanted multiple fittings and trunk shows.  And I'm ok with that.

But if I was that kind of bride, here are two dresses that I would be actively considering:

JCrew, Lisette Gown, $2000

Go Green Go by Phillip Lim, One Shoulder Gown, $995

By the way...consider almost all posts from here on out about weddings in some fashion.  It takes over you brain!

photos courtesy of jcrew.com and barneys.com

Bridal Trial and Error

About a month ago, I had my hair and makeup trial for my wedding. 

I have to say, I was pretty nervous about it.

Most of the pictures that I saw in magazines were of women with shellacked hair, smokey eyes and squidgy looking lipgloss.  And I don't know about you, but my fiance would run the other way if I came down the aisle looking like that.

So when the hair and makeup artist showed up, I immediately started babbling about "natural" makeup and wanting "hair that wasn't crunchy."  They looked a little bewildered at first, but my mom calmed them down and let them know that I wasn't a Linda Blair-bride or something.

First came makeup.  The artist used a face primer and a lip scuffer to smooth out my chapped lips. She used MAC foundation and concealer (the same one I use!) and a fabulous combination of grey and pink eyeshadows with a little black eyeliner near the lashes.  She used a Mary Kay mascara in black on my lashes to finish the look.

The effect was really great.  

I looked like me.  Only better.

The last part of the picture was the lipstick.  The artist used a magenta-ey pink Mary Kay shade that I just didn't love.  As a devotee of pale pink glosses, the lipstick felt heavy handed to me.  And way too dark.  She explained that you need a brighter lip color for photographs, but the color never felt right to me.

Meanwhile, on my head....

The hair stylist began her work.  She immediately proclaimed that my hair was too soft and silky to hold a curl (damn you, Pantene!  You make my hair too soft for it's own good!!).  

She made do, curling my hair into soft waves and pulling half back into a little twist.  While the effect was perfect, especially with my dress (I had a fitting an hour after the trial) it wasn't smooth sailing.

There was a lot of hair spray involved in this process, and the curl started to come out even as she stood there.  

The prescription for what ails my hair?  No conditioner. 

How is that going to work?  I have to wash my hair that day.  In fact, I have to wash my hair every day.  I seriously can't not wash my hair.  She told me I could use a little light leave in conditioner, but that was it...

(did you like that double negative, mmm, weddings have made me dumb)

So.  Help me out people!  Does anyone have a recommendation for me?   Leave in conditioner, maybe even a spray?  Help a sister out!

Spring Shoe Porn!

At two price points:

Manolo Blahnik at a crushing $585

JCrew at a slightly less eye-popping $198

photos courtesy of neimanmarcus.com and jcrew.com

Let's File Under "Poor Idea"

I was never a big fan of the shoe bootie trend, or as I like to call them, "shooties."

It looks cool on the runway.  I'll give you that.

However, on anyone who ISN'T five foot ten and 100 lbs, it's just a one way ticket to looking dumb.

But now, the evil fashion industry who hates us has foisted another trend upon us.

The O-shootie.

That's right.  

The open toed shoe bootie.

Oh yeah.  Get a load of this.  Not only do they expect you to wear a shoe that is guaranteed to make your legs look short, stumpy and fat...they want your toes squishing out of them!

There are only four things that are certain in life:

Death

Taxes

Ralph Nader losing yet another election

and this trend making someone look like a fool.

photos courtesy for stylebytes.com and thetrendsetter.wordpress.com

Ultra Monday

As I type this, it's T minus 15 minutes and counting until The Hills season continuation premiere!

But I want to tell you about something else.  Something serious.  A new facial cleanser on the market!

Last week, I stopped into Kiehl's to pick up my favorite cleanser, the Washable Face Milk and I also snagged some samples of the brand spanking new Ultra Facial Cleanser.

Since I also regularly use the company's Ultra Facial Cream, I was pretty psyched to make all the bottles on my sink match.

Honestly?  I wish I could tell you that I loved it.

Well, I could.

But I would be lying.

It comes out looking like shampoo, very viscous and cloudy looking.  And it feels like honey spreading onto your face.  I happen to prefer a little less work in the evenings to get my cleanser on my face.

It lathers up really well once you start rinsing it off, but I felt it took a lot to get it all off my face.  And then my face didn't feel squeaky clean.

To be sure, it was a little disappointing.  

But then again, I'm sure The Hills will be too.  I heard Justin Bobby is back though!  Maybe not so disappointing....

photo courtesy of kiehls.com

I Swear

I swear to all that is holy to me (re: Prada) ... if I have to read one more fawning, obsequious article about Dennis Kucinich and his wife Elizabeth and about how they fondle each other just everywhere they go ... I will just go postal.

I get it!

He's an elfin, twice married, twice divorced, UFO sighting peacemonger vegan who met and married a tall pretty red-haired Brit and they just can't keep their unevenly matched attractiveness hands off each other!

GAG.

This, somehow, is news fodder for MONTHS.

(fyi...this all comes after belatedly reading my March issue of Elle Magazine and wasted ten minutes of commercial time reading a five page spread on the couple)

Guess what?!?

Washington is over it.

And the rest of the country couldn't care less!

Please.  Media.  Stop.  Seriously.  Mainstream media.  STOP.

Now excuse me while I yak.

Read All About It!

Big News Day!!

And, no, I'm not talking about Jim McGreevy's former limo driver revealing that he had a threesome with the couple.  But that was some pretty awesome reading.

First up!

Gap is launching the second Design Editions line!  Last year, the white shirts designed by Rodarte, Doo.Ri and Thakoon flew off the shelves...mostly because I grabbing them.  This year's designers include 3.1 Phillip Lim, Band of Outsiders, Threeasfour, Phillip Crangi and Michael Bastien.  Yum yum yum!

As for the Hills alumnas:

Lauren Conrad's collection was positively panned by the Fug Girls.

Whitney Port's line was mostly well received.

And Heidi Montag continues her shame spiral (or what should be a shame spiral) with this collection of pure evil.

It's like hooker wear.  Only cheaper.  And sluttier.

And...Botkier will design the next line of handbags for Target!

Whew...now back to reading tawdry stories about the secret lives of governors.

Going to Pot

This past week I had the distinct pleasure of going out after having a full hour or so to get ready!

That's right...no glancing in the mirror three minutes before departure time and swiping on a little blush and praying that the bar will be dark and everyone will be liquored before I get there.

Nope.

I tried on three pairs of shoes!

And, I got to play with a MAC Paint Pot!

One of the Fafi Collection, I tested out Cash Flow, a straight up gold cream shadow with a hint of a green undertone.

The shadow is what is really awesome.

It goes on smoothly (I used my fingers, I didn't have THAT much time on my hands) and pretty sheerly.  This is especially since it looks like the mud of the Dead Sea in the pot.

I was able to layer it on a little at a time and make it darker by my lash line and sheerer up near my brows.

With a heavy coat of mascara, I was good to go!

After a night at Marvin dealing with some guy who just swore he knew me from somewhere (hey, buddy, maybe I'm just kind of generic looking?) I got home and there was nary a crease in sight!  This stuff is strong...but it slid right off with a little of my trusty Almay remover.

As is my vice, I eyed a few other colors that might get added to my stash, including Artifact, Greenscape and Moss Scape.

Wow, so much for any resolution to save and not buy more makeup, right?

Responsible Makeup

One of my favorite parts of the movie Clueless is when Cher stomps around her room before her driving test whining for her white collarless shirt from Fred Segal...her most capable looking outfit.

Call me what you will, but I truly believe that clothes can make the difference between looking capable in a certain I-really-won't-send-your-office-into-a-shame-spiral.

The same could be said for makeup.

When prepping for an event when "capable" is the image you need to project, it's important to look polished and pretty, but without crossing into sexy territory.

And let me tell you, there are people who think the slightest hint of tackiness in you lipgloss means that you will spend more time picking your hair out of your gloss than writing briefs to win that motion for summary judgement.

Here is my formula for impressing the higher ups:

A light pink, natural looking blush like NARS in Sin, which, despite its name, looks dark enough that no one will worry about you sinking the company health plan with the pernicious anemia, but not so dark that you look like a tavern girl in an old Western movie.

A blend of brown eyeshadows. Usually, I like to layer my MAC Shadesticks in Beig-ing and Cement or a combination of Vincent Longo Baby Love and Sweet Dreams.

A light coat of mascara. Waterproof. Strongest you've got. No whore eyes here.

On the lips, tread very carefully. Keep your lips shiny, but not sticky. Natural colors. This is not the time to test out that lastest Juicy Tube in Poppy Pink or whatever. I will often just use a swipe of Rosebud Salve, but on days when I need a little more color (interviews can make me go paler than I already am), I use a little Clinique Almost Lipstick in Black Honey or Prada Lip Balm #4.

The most important thing is to look nice and well put together, because Lord knows, if you can't put on your makeup...well, it may be terrible and prejudicial and trite...but can you really handle everything else?

XXL - The Redux

I stopped by my local CVS this weekend for the usual...some Cottonelle (yeah, that's right, I'm a sucker for the Zack Braff puppy commercials)...peruse some magazines without buying...and cruise out the mascara aisle.

I needed a replacement for my recently beloved Maybelline XXL, and I was prepared to simply buy the same one...until I noticed that they were on sale for buy-one-get-one-free!

Sweeet....

I picked out the Curl Power version and tried it this morning.

The first thing I noticed was that the primer is a light purple. That threw me a little bit. The second thing is that the curved brush takes a little getting used to.

I had trouble depositing enough mascara on my lashes, so I ended up looking a little weird today. But I'm willing to try again.

I think I noticed a little extra curl in the lashes when I put on the primer, but that could just be wishful thinking. (Does anyone else think that curling mascaras are a bunch of hooey? It's the Barnum Effect of beauty.)

My second choice was the Intense XXL, hopefully it will give me what the Curl Power lacks...

Will report back!

photo courtesy of maybelline.com

Support a Good Cause

I always feel like breast cancer gets the lion's share of the colorful, research-money dedicated products, considering everything in October is painted pink. While I would never choose one disease over another, I was alerted that theBalm was creating a limited edition version of their lipgloss to benefit the efforts of the NYC Chapter of the National MS society in honor of National Multiple Sclerosis Education and Awareness Week (March 10th-17th) called KISS MS GOODBYE.




During the month of March, theBalm will donate 25% of proceeds from the sale of this shade- a wearable coral hue infused with SPF 17 and a delicious strawberry banana scent- to the cause. The New York City Chapter of the National MS Society helps the thousands of New Yorkers impacted by MS to move their lives forward. They provide comprehensive support services and educational programs to people with MS, their family and friends, and raise funds locally to support the National MS Society’s research initiatives.



I'm a huge fan of theBalm's lipglosses, with their sheer sparkly shades and incredible scent. Seriously, it's actually kind of hard to stop licking your lips. So I fully endorse a purchase of a lipgloss so good that does good. And, multiple sclerosis research is a wonderful cause to support. (Full disclosure, I have a friend who suffers from the disease.)



Of course, if you would make a donation instead of buying a lipgloss, or simply learn more, please visit The New York City Chapter of the National MS Society.