V for Valentine's Day

I can be a real Scrooge when it comes to Valentine's Day.

Seriously, I actually make sure that both my boyfriend and I are working the nights of Valentine's Day so we have excuses not to do anything.

First of all, it falls in the middle of winter, when I really don't feel very pretty or have any interest in dressing up and going out on the town.

Second, it brings out the bitter in everyone. Single girls are upset because there is no one to buy them roses, non-singles get pissed because reservations were not made properly, and men just seem bewildered and befuddled by the whole holiday.

Third, it's just a big crock of cheapo chocolates and fuzzy pink things. And I don't plan on wasting my time or caloric budget on that.

BUT! I do like the spirit of Valentine's Day in it's purest essence, which is celebrating love.

So, to celebrate, I plan on splurging on the person I love most.

ME!!!

So here are a few twists on the classic gift ideas to lavish attention on yourself on this most silly of holidays.

Sexy lingerie is a staple gift on Valentine's Day, but it is often given by clueless men who can't tell a B cup from a bikini brief and are most often seduced by the brightly colored and the flammable. Steer clear of rashes and poor fitting by scooping up American Apparel's soft cotton underwear in their Pantytime Sale. The goods come in a variety of styles and colors, and are sexy in that hipster way, not the whorish way.

Yes, that is a horrible name for a sale. And no pictures...the last thing I need is a visit from the IT people after the Foley scandal.

Another run of the mill V-Day token, roses. This year, spare your boyfriend the hassle of fighting crowds on the florist and bringing home a slightly crushed set of buds. So instead, send him to Best Buy to pick out a gift for himself and check out Red Flower's gorgeous line of Moroccan Rose products. They even have special gift set so you can collect all of them, including a body wash, body lotion, and two scented candles topped with petals. It all comes with the prettiest packaging ever and this is not your grandmother's rose scent.

The final member of the Valentine's Gift Triumverate is, of course, chocolate! And let's not screw around here. No Whitman Sampler, no Russell Stover Heart. Go for the good stuff. In February's Vogue, Jeffrey Steingarten picks his favorites and I think I am most coveting the famed gianduia chocolates from Italy. You can pick up the "Tourinot Maximo Giandujotto" box at World Wide Chocolates and invite your girlfriends over to indulge.

Then no one would ever forget you for Valentine's Day ever....

photos courtesy of reflower.com and worldwidechocolates.com