Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Ask CapHill Barbie

I love questions. Know what else I love? Answers!

Briefing books? I'm the go-to girl. You got a problem? Yo, I'll...nevermind. So that's why I also love question and answer columns. Some of my favorite reading material lately includes the Wednesday Advice Smackdown from Amalah and the Ask a Hill Staffer from Wonkette.

So, bearing in mind that I probably have zero business dispensing advice (although I've found that when I tell people things an authoritative tone they believe me, even though 93% of the time I have no clue what I'm talking about. And at least 57% of that time I just tell them whatever creates the least work for me. Smart, huh?), I bring you my very own Q&A.

I also love ampersands. Although the tilde runs a close second.


CapHill Barbie, I have a serious dilemna. I'm about two weeks into my summer internship on Capitol Hill working for Senator BLANK and I've finally gotten the hang of the whole, "stand right, walk left" thing on the Metro. Whew! The bruises from being pushed to the right have finally started to heal.

My problem is this, I try to always wear cute shoes to my cubbyhole in our Hart office (I acknowledge that flip flops are totally unacceptable inside an office building) but I am getting the worst blisters!

These shoes are brand new, a gift to myself for not getting paid a single cent for my hard labor all summer. Sometimes they even make me walk to Russell to drop off papers and mail and such. By the time my fellow interns are ready to head over to the Cap Lounge, I'm ready to amputate my feet!

What do I do about my painful feet? Also, do you think my co-workers could be hazing me?

-Hurting in Hart

Hurting in Hart,

I feel your pain. No, seriously, I feel your pain. Like a moth to a flame, I have a huge weakness for fabulous footware that cuts the bejesus out of your feet. But there are a few options.

First, while it is excellent that you understand that flip flops are not okay for an office building, I am occasionally lenient when it comes to wearing them to work and changing THE SECOND you are in your office, or in your case, at whatever makeshift space they put you in for the summer.

Second, Band Aids can be an option, but I often find that they cause more harm as they take up space in the shoe and force it to rub in another place. Also, they leave the tell-tale signs that you are hurting and sticky residue.

Third, moleskine (which can be purchased at the drugstore or your local camping store) is effective, but kind of creepy looking.

Fourth, and my most recent favorite, BODYGLIDE. In the interest of not being accused of plagiarism, I saw this trick first in Real Simple magazine a while ago and also mentioned in this month's issue of Lucky magazine. I picked up mine at the local cycling shop, and you can probably find it wherever athletic people hang out. It's designed to prevent chafing for marathoners and cyclists during long sessions, but it also can prevent the evil blisters developing between you and you Sigerson Morrison kitten heels. On a test run this weekend with a pair of Prada flats about a half size too small (They were on sale!! They begged for a home!! I am the Angelina Jolie of shoes) and the Bodyglide performed admirably. It's also great just for the breaking-in phase.

I suggest you snag two sticks, one for the cubby, one for home and keep pounding the pavement.

And your co-workers are definitely hazing you. Suck it up. It's a part of Hill life.

Feel free to email me questions you might have about beauty, fashion, legislation, or whatever. Otherwise, I'm just going to keep making these things up.


Big Sky Girl said...

Awesome. Shoes are definitely a must have, and if beauty is pain than I need a morphine drip because there is no way I am going for the orthopedic square toe stacked heels.

Anonymous said...

This is AAHS. Really. Writing to you from Honduras. Have you sent shit over to wonkette? I´m sure you could write that column better than I could.

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