Everything is bigger in Virginia

And just so I don't get hate mail from people from Texas, I just mean that everything in Virginia is bigger than everything in DC.

Seriously though, the roads are bigger, the cars are bigger, the houses are bigger and most importantly, the stores are bigger! It's positively Brobdingnagian!

I ventured into a WHOLE OTHER STATE this weekend to visit the Bath and Body Works flagship store at Tyson's Corner. That is how dedicated I am to the pursuit of beauty perfection. And I only got slightly lost.

I mean, would it be so hard for the VDOT to give a road ONE name?? What is with the fact that every road must have 3 different monikers and no numbers on the street signs?

But the store was great! Once I found it. This is not the blue and white gingham bedecked Bath and Body Works of my youth. It still maintains that white-picket-fence faux Cape Cod je ne sais quoi, but the brands inside have been elevated. They still sell the anti-bacterial soaps and lotions in a thousand colored smells, but in the interest of time, sanity and my sinuses, I skipped all that and made a beeline for 100% Pure.

The thing about 100% Pure is that you could almost eat their products. They are mostly vegan and very natural. The packaging is adorable and the scents are overwhelmingly true to what is in the product.

As I stared at the shelves, I attracted the attention of a salesperson (we'll call him Jim) who offered to help in any way possible. I was in the market for a scrub, I told him. He quickly told me to skip the "juicy" scrubs from 100% Pure since they are extremely oily and can make you slip in your tub.

Ahhh, I replied, head trauma is not on my agenda this weekend.

Jim steered me towards the "buttery body scrubs," in particular to the Chocolate Mocha Scrub (I thought that mocha implies coffee and chocolate??) which he proudly announced was made from real coffee grounds. I took a whiff and totally believed him. It smelled like my coffee maker if I forgot to clean it for a week. Not that that happens often or anything... Jim also expounded on coffee's natural "antioxidant" and "firming" properties. I bit my tongue and didn't get all science major bitchy and tell him that is all a load of hooey. Yay for me.

So Jim then grabs my hand, drags me to a sink and proceeds to lather up my hand with this stuff! Great, now I smell like my old coffee grounds. As if the eight cups of coffee I try to mainline every day doesn't make me smell like this already. So I picked out the Strawberry Butter Body Scrub and beelined my way back across the Chain Bridge to Lilliput.

During the test run of the scrub, I found the smell infinitely better. Now I smell like a popover at Neimans. My boyfriend shunned the scrub, saying that boys should not smell like Strawberry Shortcake dolls. Too bad! More for me! The scrub has lots of sugar grains which exfoliated really well and was pretty moisturizing. My main complaint is that, while I get the "100% vegan all natural" schtick, I could live without the huge chunks of strawberry. Unlike Kramer from Seinfeld, I don't have a garbage disposal in my shower.

So...I highly recommend the 100% Pure line and the new and improved Bath and Body Works, just watch out for any Yahoos trying to fondle your hands in their sinks.

photo courtesy of Purity Cosmetics.