Thursday, July 13, 2006

Project Runway: Home Sewn

So, after the freak show parade in Road to the Runway, the judges have narrowed it down to 15 contestants. That's right, FIF-teen. That's a lot of character. And I'll get to them in a minute.

I know they probably had just as many people in the others, but I have an HM/Memento thing going after a season finale where I forget that there are so many in the first few episodes. And just like my freshman chemistry class, the weak must be weeded out.

The challenge in this episode was to create a garment using whatever materials they could rip from the apartments in 15 minutes. They all went crazy in the apartments tearing stuff off the walls, windows, beds, lamps, etc. Hell, I'm surprised no one brought the toilet paper to make a mummy dress. That would have been my vision. Very Herve Leger.

Off to the workroom they run and start sewing sketching and bitching.

Right away, the personalities start to emerge.

Since everyone (and by that I mean Robin Givhan) is already abuzz about Malan Breton, I'll start with him. Yeah, he sounds like an ass, he turned down a spot on Season 2 (who took his place, by the way?), he snarks about the others' "behavior," and has a bizarre fake accent and laugh. His dress ended up being fine, although not mindblowing, and I didn't think his barbs lived up to the hype.

But doesn't he totally remind you of Baby Stewie from Family Guy with the puffy half closed eyes and the weird laugh??? Anyone? Anyone? Buehler? Okay, maybe that's just me.

Alison is totally adorable. Her dress was cute, but fit poorly.

Angela? Um, who? Oh, the girl from Ohio. I'm just going to lump Angela, Katherine, Bonnie, Kayne and Bradley together in the truly unmemorable category. They get a big "whatever" from me.

Uli made a fabulous dress that was sort of beachy and totally reminded me of the Marc Jacobs collection that I loved, but couldn't afford when Sweet Home Alabama came out (they used his stuff as Reese's character's "collection"). I was kind of surprised that she wasn't in the top. I'm dying to see her and Heidi get trashed and sing in German or something.

Vincent officially the crazy to the runway. That hat was awesomely hysterical, and the dress wasn't bad. I'm glad he wasn't sent home, because I'm hoping for a Bob Mackie-esque outfit soon. And because...

Stacey sucks. Truly. She can't work a sewing machine and she is fortyish and wearing a halter top from like Forever 21. Hint, it's not called Forever 21 because you think you can still be 21. I think the judges made an excellent call here by sending her packing. A Harvard degree only takes you so far in life, y'know?

Jeffrey's tattoo was so incredibly distracting. I kept touching my neck when he was on screen, wondering how much that must have hurt. The dress was okay, the coat made me want to hurl. What happened to that cute blazer he showed during the auditions? Do that next time, and lose the 'tude.

Keith's dress was pretty great. It was also pretty safe as far as innovation goes. Also, I doubt that was the first dress you ever made. Didn't he say he collaborated with Wyeth? Those dresses are on sale at Barney's as I type.

Personally, I lllllooooovvveeedddd Robert's white dress with the bows. And not just because he designs for Barbie. I have a soft spot for jewelry that is built into clothes, like that Cacharel t-shirt when it first came out or that Azzarro dress that Diane Lane wore once. I think it's because I'm worried I will mix too many metals and look like a freak or something.

Laura is kind of a mystery. She is a non-professional, but she can work a sewing machine. Hmmmm. I also totally agree with her statement about the slippery slope into sweats and minivans, so god bless her for being able to be a strict constructionalist. I'm guessing though, like Scalia, that could get her into trouble with the co-workers. Also, I could have lived without the jangly things and the mirrors on the coat, but maybe they were to detract from her ginormous jaw.

Michael was another person I thought should have made it to the top-panel. I think he is GREAT. I think he is interesting, breaks the gay-white/asian/hispanic-guy-designer-or-a-girl mold that is pervasive on the show, and his dress was soooo pretty. Very Holly Golightly. Minus the cigarette since it would have ignited the coffee filters.

In summation, I think the show is shaping up well. I thought the greatest moment was when they all returned to the apartments, assuming (as I did) that everything would be replaced but it wasn't! And they all had to sleep on broken, feathery furniture. That was funny.

My prediction is that Michael and Robert are the two contenders to beat right now. Michael because I think he will develop a lot, but also sounds pretty drama free and cool.

Robert has class and versatility. After all, Barbie has had many so many careers to design for! Maybe he could make a Hill Staffer Barbie after me some day...little J.Crew suit, pearls, copies of the Federal Register, Congressional ID tag, and a kung fu grip with a Starbucks latte.

Hey...a girl can dream, can't she?

photos courtesy of

Also! Check out Tim's Take for Tim Gunn's very own adorable take on the episode.


Tbone said...

caphill - that was great! Coming up next week: Robin Ghivan reveals the winner of American Idol 6!

The Scarlett said...

Nice recap ... after revealing the winner of American Idol, Robin will tell everyone that hasn't seen The Sixth Sense that the Bruce Willis character was dead.

Mags said...

Malan is SO TOTALLY Stewie.

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