Oh Zoe.

For a little light reading with your coffee this morning, I recommend heading over to an article printed in the New York Times Magazine section this Sunday about stylist extraordinaire Rachel Zoe.


And by "stylist extraordinaire," I mean, freakishly skinny wrinkly woman who has some how transformed actresses into walking billboards for her friends and managed to talk them into dieting until they practically make Holocaust victims look rubenesque.


Some of the highlights:


Rachel will only drink Starbucks coffee. Even in Paris. A city with one of the greatest cafe cultures in the world. But, if you don't drink it there, you may as well just be a terrorist and hate America. You pinko Commie freak.


Zoe brusquely sends back a plate of steamed vegetables at a Paris restaurant because there is a small dollop of some kind of sauce. Rachel, apparently, cannot tolerate sauce or calories of any kind.


Also consumed in the article: diet Snapple and tea.



Rachel is in shock to hear that vegetables actually DO contain calories.

Readers are informed that her last name is pronounced "Zoh," like "No." However, when she was just a babe in Jersey, people pronounced her middle name "ZOH-ee" like everyone else. Oh, she also dropped the surname "Rosenzweig."

Clients will not be dressed in any color that does not flatter the stylist herself.


We discover the mystery of the Marchesa explosion. It's what you thought. Harvey Weinstein decided that people should wear his girlfriend's clothes and Zoe made it happen.


Her ring tone is "Riders on the Storm" by the Doors. 'Cause that's not cliche in a look-at-how-highbrow-recherche-I-am way.


Nicole Kidman is one demanding crazy person.


The author of the article does not seem to disguise a sense of amusement and distaste for Zoe. Great reading though....

photos courtesy of nytimes.com

Emmylicious

Ahhh...the Emmys.

A total non sequiter in the awards season, as it occurs months ahead of all other awards shows, but whatevs! On to the snark.

This list is in no way exhaustive. I have opinions on lots of other gowns, but these are some of my own highlights and lowlights.

Here are my least favorite ensembles of the evening.

Seriously? I swear Debra Messing wore this exact same dress two seasons ago.

I think Hayden Panettiere might be hiding small children under her skirt like Mother Ginger in "The Nutcracker Suite."

I see Rebecca Romijn rocking the Tyra arm chub. I can't figure out where it came from though since she usually has such a slamming body. It's like stunt chub or something.

Again with the dress you've worn a thousand times before?!? What the eff? Ugh, I'm so bored with Teri Hatcher with her pneumatic boobs and botoxed forehead.

Ok, this really hurts. I have loved Elizabeth Perkins since "Big" and adore her show "Weeds." Basically this was fabric for a skirt at Anthropologie gone awry.

The outfits I liked!

While I'm a little confused by the massive influx of mermaid tail gowns and I stopped watching Grey's Anatomy when they started interviewing a neurosurgeon and a cardiothoracic surgeon for the chief of the GENERAL surgery department (hint, the chief is usually a general surgeon. Couldn't they find a real doctor to consult on that show?). I happen to love Katherine Heigl in this gown. The red lip was nice, but not scary and the neckline is super sweet.



My feelings on Wisteria Lane extend only to the following noise: (insert cacophonous vomiting sounds here). However, Eva Longoria looks stunning in this dress, I love the spangles and I happen to think short for evening is so modern.

Whoa, Heidi's not preggers! For once! Well, she looks amazing and I think this is the best color ever. I would wear a muumuu in this color. The neckline is more interesting than a typical strapless gown, and she was the only person who pulled off the leg-poking-out-of-her-slit look. I just wish Seal had buttoned his collar.

I happen to think Edie Falco looks good at most ceremonies. Not breaking ground or anything, but also doesn't look like mutton dressed as lamb. Just classic elegant and beautiful looking. See also: Sally Field.

So, office faves? People you trashed? Because, let's face it, no one is doing any work today.

photos courtesy of style.com

Quick Question

I was curious to see how people who read the blog found me, and I am experimenting with polls!

Look at me all down with technology and such.

Anyhoo, if you wouldn't mind...



Off to New York this afternoon for some shopping and a meet 'n greet with my florist!

Wish me luck!

UPDATE: So, clearly I forgot to add that a way to find me was through another blog! Also, please let me know where you read about me...unfortunately, people in publishing don't seem to keep you updated when they write about you. I'm always the last to hear!

Your Civic Duty

Not about beauty, but I could help myself from sharing this article in the Washington Post:

"It would be hard to find two bigger advocates for jury service than James and Maxine Moore.

They met 17 years ago while serving on a jury in D.C. Superior Court. They got to know each other in the middle of a medical malpractice case, later fell in love and have been together ever since.

The trial ended in a hung jury. But the Moores offer themselves as Exhibit A that something good can come out of jury service.

Yesterday, they returned to the courthouse to help unveil a new U.S. postage stamp depicting 12 multicolored silhouettes and framed by the words, "Jury Duty" and "Serve With Pride." The Postal Service has printed 40 million of the 41-cent stamps and began selling them nationwide yesterday."

As an attorney, I fully believe in jury service. DC has a terrible time filling juries and I encourage everyone to fulfill her civic duty and show up for jury duty.

And NOT because you might meet your future husband there!

Seriously?

If people start showing up to jury duty looking like they are ready for a skanked out night at Tom Tom because they think they can hook up with someone during the voir dire, I might just have to hand in my bar card and call it a day.

Maybe the couple should have spent less time making mooney faces at each other and paid attention during the Allen charge. Maybe they wouldn't have had a hung jury.

Oh, also, what's with the Post using the term "rap session?" That's like your grandmother saying that she's "jiggy" with something. It's just wrong.

Back to the Republic

I don't know what's going on, but I'm heavily in lust with Banana Republic's fall line.



Don't get me wrong, I own plenty of BR staples, but lately I've found their stuff a little lame. The colors always seemed a shade off...like they had been washed too many times before being put on the hanger. Or they were pushing those uber long shorts as a work outfit. And that's something I just can't condone.



But I was in the store recently on one of my fall shopping recon missions and found myself grabbing at things like Bob Packwood on three Viagra with a Cialis chaser.



Back at work, I began perusing the website for more lustworthy togs and stumbled upon a neat perfect "work" bag.



A little background:



Work bags for professional women have to be one of the most difficult fashion conundrums. Do I buy a man's briefcase and try to rock the androgeny like Madonna in the "Express Yourself" video and basically end up looking like a huge dork? Or do I carry a purse which simply looks wildly inappropriate in most professional settings and can't carry half of my essentials for surviving a day in the urban jungle?



Oh, and I also want to be able to fit a redwell in there. Maybe even, gasp!, a laptop.



GOOD LUCK!



Well...hello, Somerset Vertical Tote!




Isn't she pretty?



Available in black and brown, it also looks suspiciously like the Mulberry Elgin tote that I wish I could afford. While this one isn't exactly cheap, I think it looks like a nice addition to any fledgling professional woman's wardrobe.



Start making Christmas/Chanukah/Whatever lists now!

photo courtesy of bananarepublic.com

A Green Pioneer

I was really sad yesterday when I read a small blurb in the New York Times about the passing of Anita Roddick, founder of The Body Shop.

Like most girls of my generation, or anyone who was interested in beauty during the early to mid 90's, I was head over heels for The Body Shop products when they first came out. Not only were they just the coolest products that you just HAD to have, you felt even cooler knowing that they were "green" before green was cool.

Or at least, before it was as cool as it is now.

Anita Roddick was always the driving force behind the brand that promoted all the ecofriendly-fair trade-sustainability ideals. She was a cool, rebellious looking woman who was always traveling and protesting. She was like your hippie mom, if she hadn't grown up and become a Republican.

I recall visiting the big store in Boston during day trips from my summer camp, and spending my daily allowance on vanilla perfume oil (I thought smelling like a cookie would make the boys come running!), multicolored bath beads, and that pink peppermint foot lotion that would spawn a million copycats for years to come.

The article talks about the sale of The Body Shop to L'Oreal just last year. It was always an odd choice, since L'Oreal is widely known among environmentalists for their not-so-super animal testing policies, but Roddick stated that she hoped the sale would spur the company to change their policies.

Honestly, I haven't been in a Body Shop in years, but I will always remember the brand for making me aware of issues bigger than my middle school life and for being the first to make it cool to be green.

You can read the full obit here for another week or so.

Any classic beauty faves or favorite memories from The Body Shop?

I think I'm in Love

with this jacket...

and it makes me kind of nervous to say so.

mostly because of the price tag. ouch.

photo courtesy of bananarepublic.com, lyrics ripped off from Beck.

Shoes, Glorious Shoes!

I have a teensy weensy confession to make.

I've never actually been in a Payless Shoe store.

Maybe there are others out there too, but a girl in my office looked at me like I had three heads when I told her this. Seriously, three heads. And maybe as if I had acne on them too.

Honestly, I've always been a shoe snob. I walk a lot, I don't want disposable shoes, and frankly, I just plain like expensive shoes.

But when I heard Lela Rose did a collection for Payless, I began reconsidering my boycott. So yesterday, I mustered up all my energy and headed out to Wheaton, Maryland, to find these shoes.

WHEATON, Y'ALL.

As I've said before, as a full blown east coast girl, things have to be dire for me to use the word "y'all." So, you know I'm serious here.

I was hoping that my tackling a far away store I might be able to snag a pair of the T-strap pumps from the collection, but alas, that was not to be.

I don't actually think they exist. They were a myth, like the Loch Ness Monster or a compassionate conservative.

But I did try on the other shoes from her collection. I really liked, and actually purchased, the Finsbury pump in black and the Chancery peep toe in red. They were surprisingly comfortable.

Ah, ha ha ha. Soon you will be on my feet my pretties!

What were not comfortable were the Addle Hill flats. Ugh! I pitied the modeles who had to wear these for the collection.



But all in all, I think I'm most excited about the Finsbury pumps. They play into the menswear, buttoned up theme for fall and will certainly be worn around work as soon as the weather turns crisp. I'll wear them with pants for a little masculin-feminin action, and with pencil skirts and stockings for a sexy-librarian chic vibe.



And they cost less than my weekly latte-habit. And less than the amount of gas I probably used getting to Wheaton. Oh well, maybe they weren't such a good deal after all...

photos courtesy of payless.com

Oblivious to the World

Oh, wow, sorry...hi.

I've been totally out of the blogging loop because I have been deeply engrossed in my gadget selection of the year.

Yes, I get to buy a new cell phone! The Q is so cute! And I could keep in touch with my friends, instead of being forced to plod along with my government issued Blackberry, not emailing anyone fun for fear that someone subpoena my emails and then will haul me before Congress and make me testify as to why I made fun of Chris Dodd's eyebrows.

But the new iPods are on the way!

Crap, so many decisions. This is why I own three billion lip glosses.

Anyhoo, there has been big news in the world of bargain fashion!

First up, Lela Rose for Payless has debuted.

I'm not usually a fan of bargain shoes, but I am a HUGE fan of Lela Rose. (Loved loved loved her wedding dresses.) The pictures below look adorable, but I don't know how good they look in real life. Also, the T-strap pump is the one that everyone is all hot and bothered about and it's already sold out! What the F?

On deck is the Simply Vera by Vera Wang collection for Kohl's.

While this line was eagerly anticipated (well, at least by me) the response from Winona at Daddy Likey , who checked it out early, makes it sound pretty craptacular. How disappointing. (I also didn't like her wedding dresses.)

Ok, so, batting cleanup in this festival of low priced surprises is the Alice Temperley line for Target! Definitely a line for fall. With all the greys and blacks, it's just about perfect for all those upcoming funerals and sitting shiva that I've got planned.

Just kidding! I know that grey is the new black and that black is the new grey. I mean, duh, I invested all my spare time this summer reading about fall clothes in the air conditioning while it was a 100 degrees outside.

Ahhh, so now, if I could only bring myself to try on some fall clothes...

Nevermind...I'm going to go read some more articles about which iPod is actually worth $400.

photos courtesy of nitrolicious.com

I'll Never Go Hungry Again (in Georgetown)

So yesterday I celebrated my last day of freedom...errr...recess, with a quick spin around Georgetown.

Mind you, this was simply a scoping mission as the 85 degree weather puts a little damper on my eagerness to try on wool and faux fur. Look, they can AC the tar out of the place until I can see my breath, but sorry...not trying on long sleeves just yet.

I did get over to the currently-under-renovation Sephora, where they have kindly moved the makeup to the lower floor, thereby eliminating my last excuse to not browse any time I'm in the 'hood (Sometimes, even a short flight of stairs is an Everest I'm not willing to climb for the sake of makeup. Yes, I am truly that lazy.)

My favorite find of the day was the Vincent Longo Eyeshadow Trio in Biscotti. The single pot contains easily wearable colors, for both day and night, and they have great shimmer. I really like the idea of getting three shadows in one little jar...I feel as though it will help me pare down my makeup bag (Insert snort of derision here).

I also discovered that Le Pain Quotidien is opening on M Street next Saturday! For those of you who haven't been privy to the carbo-holic wonders of this Belgian chain, you owe it to yourself to check it out. Fantastic breads, yummy tartine sandwiches, lattes served in bowls the size of my head, and a praline spread that I would sell my unborn children for.

A staple for refueling on New York shopping excursions (they are convienently located near my favorite shopping haunts), I"m delighted that they have opened in Georgetown because (a) it's so close to my house! and (b) because I swear to God if I had to endure one more veggie cobb salad at J. Paul's I might scream.

Now, if only I could do something about the dearth of cheeky cupcake spots and frozen yogurt...

photos courtesy of sephora.com

Tumbleweeds

Just a little something to get you through the last day of August...

New York Magazine has an online article about the top five runway falls!

because who doesn't like watching a supernaturally thin unbelievably tall woman take a tumble?

It also proves that if they can't walk in these shoes...no one can.

And, yes, it makes me feel better watching Jessica Stam fall knowing that I didn't actually plunk down for those Chloe shoes that looked so awesome on the runway.

Also...get psyched for Fall Fashion week...

The rest of September is guaranteed to suck.

photo courtesy of nymag.com

Wait a Minute Mr. Postman

I think my mailman is mad at me.

I have yet to receive my September Vogue and Elle magazines.

Maybe they gave him a hernia?

Line 'Em Up

Keeping with my "scrimp versus spend" mentality right now, I have to confess that another area where I'm not inclined to break the piggy bank is when it comes to eyeliner.





The reason?





Well, it's really three fold:





1. I rarely use it. Mostly because I'm just plain lazy.





2. I get off on the idea of being able to be frugal and multipurpose my eyeshadows.





3. Ummm, because pound for pound, I'm not using as much of it as I do, say, foundation.





It's all a numbers game.





However, I do enjoy a good liner just as much as the next gal. I love my Bobbi Brown Gel Liner because it stays on for about three days, therefore allievating aforementioned concern number 1. I also like amping it up for a Saturday night by breaking out my teal eyeliner, prompting many a man to ask, while squinting at my face, "Is that like, green? On your eyelids? Are you feeling ok?"





So let's just say I'm not going to plunk down the big bucks for that reaction.





So, one solution I've found particularly useful are the Brightening Eye Liners from e.l.f. Cosmetics. They go on smoothly, come with their own sharpener and come in a variety of wearable shades.

And they cost one smackaroo.

You can't even get a lead coated toy for that price.

I'm particularly enamored with the Plum shade for fall (I am so planning on rocking an all purple wardrobe this season. It'll be like Prince is testifying on the Hill everyday.) and the technique of lining the underside of the lash line is pure genius.

Other faves include Coffee and Midnight.

What else are you doing with that dollar? Except waiting for the light to go on at Millie and Al's?

Yes, I have a sick obsession with a bar where you can buy dollar Jello shots. Don't ask why, because I really don't know.

photo courtesy of eyeslipsface.com

Fiscal Matters

Today Meghan over at Faking Good Breeding posed the question, "Are fashion and beauty blogs contributing to overspending?" She then goes on to discuss the trend of higher prices for luxury items in stores and the blogs that make a pricey bag seem like a food/shelter necessity which can make the average girl go a little luxe-crazy. Even when her lust exceeds her means.

I think Meghan makes some excellent points, and I started to think out the products I feature.

First, I would like to say that most of the people I know work for the government or are similarly enslaved to a price fixed salary system by which they make just enough to live in DC, not look like a slob at work, and afford a weekly binge drinking session at whatever dive bar is happening at the time (somehow last week was Millie and Al's?)

Second, I would say that, while I love drooling over the pages of Vogue and fantasizing about a life where dollar Jello shots are not a way of life, I certainly splurge a lot when it comes to beauty and fashion.

So, in honor of the upcoming end of the fiscal year, I present some tenets of my personal budget balancing philosophy, and how I choose products for my blog so as not to drive you all to the poorhouse.

Try before you buy. I think this is essential. Not only could you have some horrific allergic reaction to things, it could look just plain awful. I wholeheartedly endorse companies that are liberal with the free samples (hence the multiple references to Kiehl's products in my blog) and I am never shy about asking for a tester to take with me.

Know what's important. Don't ever scrimp on stuff like sunscreen. You may think you are being frugal by saving money by applying teensy amounts of sunscreen and splurging on Creme de la Mer, but the joke will be on you when you have spend all that money on reconstructive surgery after they take out that melanoma and half your head.

Also know what is important to you. I love lip gloss. Love it. And I like expensive ones. And I'm willing to cheap it out a lot of other things to get the fancy lip gloss.

Buy drugstore mascara. I know people rave about DiorShow. I love bloggers who swoon over Lancome. But honestly, the best way to save money is to spend less on the thing you are (hopefully) throwing away every three months. However, refer to the aforementioned rule if mascaras make you weak in the knees with lust and maybe use Chapstick instead of Chanel on your mouth.

Body wash. Honestly? It's soap. I don't fuss around here. There are some sick ass generic moisturizing washes that are just as nice as the expensive stuff. It just doesn't look as pretty in your shower.

Shampoo and conditioner. Ditto. Pantene is God's gift to my head.

Forever 21. When it comes to clothes, I swear to all that is holy, I get more compliments on the stuff I bought here than anything I picked up at Barney's.

Lastly, I would like it to be known that I do actually buy and use many of the products on my blog (which might explain the lack of posting lately). I try to keep in mind that not everyone has access to a Sephora, 24 hour drugstores, and relatives who know me well enough to give beauty gift certificates at every possible holiday (well, Starbucks too) and promote products accordingly.

So...let me know...do you carry a Balenciaga bag and wear Payless shoes? Use Wet n Wild exclusively on your face but get weekly manicures? What is your biggest beauty or fashion splurge and where do you pinch your pennies?

Left Out

It was a big beauty weekend. Just not for me.



I spent the past weekend up in New York with my family, mainly to pick out a wedding dress. But I had a hidden agenda...



I was planning on heading directly to Barney's, do not pass go, do not stop to pick up Pinkberry, and spending the gift card that has been burning an enormous hole in my pocket since I received it in DECEMBER.



So I dragged my mother and sister and found, to my shock and dismay, that they loaded up on goodies while I left the Empire State with nothing! Nothing!



At the Bobbi Brown counter, the salesman loaded up their eyes with the Longwear Gel Eyeliner in Espresso. My sister took to the stuff like white on rice, due to the interesting technique of the makeup artist of feathering the liner underneath her lashes instead of on top.




They also both tried out the Corrector, which works with concealer to even out dark circles and liked it. I think my sister even wheedled her way into a compact powder ("It gets so hot in the subway! I need something to keep shine at bay." Seriously, hostage negotiators have nothing on my sister.)





While they left, bags in tow, I watched enviously as my sister played with the shiny new boxes and laughed while my mother squirmed and rubbed her eyes (she hates eye makeup. I swear that my sister and I were adopted).



But I left empty handed.



ME!!!



Something is wrong with this world when I can go to a beauty floor like Barney's with money that isn't even mine, and not find a single thing to buy.



I'll blame it on the August blues (sick of summer, not ready for fall) but next time I'm up there, I swear...things will be charged.



I did get a wedding dress though...

photos courtesy of bobbibrown.com

Do as I say, not as I do

This weekend I got a pretty nasty sunburn.

For those of you know know me, I'm whiter than the whitest white available from Benjamin Moore, and it doesn't take a whole lot to turn me the color of a stop sign.

Oh, and also, it in that super sweet farmer's tan look that is all the rage now. Yay for me.

So, for all future excursions into the outdoor environment when I'm not wearing head to toe clothing, I'm picking up vast quantities of Kiehl's new UV protective Suncare Sunscreen Cream.

It contains a combination of Parsol 1789 and the newest sunscreen ingredient Mexoryl, which is also found in the famed European version of La Roche Posay and was recently approved by FDA. It helps stop the agin effects of sun damage and something like eight out of ten dermatologists recommend it.*

The other two were too busy performing liposuction because it reimburses better.*

They have one for face and body and they will work together like He-Man and She-Ra, Princess of Power, to fight the next impending sun burn so hopefully I won't end up looking like Warren Christopher in three to five years.

*all statistics totally fabricated.

photos courtesy of kiehls.com

Just Clean, Healthy Living...

After the deluge of work that has been the hallmark of the past few weeks of my life, I have finally woken up with a new sense of purpose.

To clean myself up.

No, seriously, I need like a Swiffer for my soul.

So, I plan to devote some of my (hopefully increased frequency) posts to sort of a detox plan which I'm sure will head to crap the minute Congress resumes after Labor Day.

No worries, why clean anything unless you can muck it up again?

I've been spending a ton of time on this Self Magazine blog called "Eat Like Me" It's written by a nutritionist who blogs about everything she eats during the day. She is insanely healthy, of course, but it's fascinating in a slightly voyeuristic way.

Every day I think, how awesome would it be if she downed a HUGE slice of chocolate cake. I'm so twisted. It's why I work in government.

It also has given me tons of ideas for healthy lunch options, snacks and breakfasts which will hopefully counteract the eight tons of crap I've snarfed down while working non-stop during July. Not to mention all the "reward" snacks for making it through yet another hellish day. Oh, and let's not forget the distillery I've certainly been a boon to in Ireland.

So, I'll do a cheers to hoping that healthy eating will go one step farther to clearing up that sallow tinge to my complexion and those Tumi sized bags under my eyes.

And let me know what you think of her blog...

Everyday Idiocy

Poor poor Giada.

I'm going to say it again.

Poor, poor Giada.

I've always had a sort of soft spot for Giada De Laurentiis in that sort of "Look! A pretty woman who is a decent cook! And she (allegedly) eats! And her nails are so pretty!" way. I have a few cookbooks, I'll watch her show, especially when it involves recipes with Nutella, my post about her nail polish is far and away the most popular thing I have ever written.

But lately, I think she is making some bad bad choices.

Most upsetting to me personally, was her trip to DC on her travel show where it seemed like everyone in her crew had dropped acid and then wrote the script. A detailed list of her offenses was catalogued in the Washington Post's Reliable Source.

Most offensive: Georgetown is NOT outside of DC, you loser!

Most hysterical: The thought of Giada actually in Adams Morgan on a weekend night.

As one of my friends stated so succinctly, "You'd think she'd have room for some facts in that giant head of hers."


More recently, I noticed a thread on Chowhound dissecting her most recent exploit. Namely, the "Women We Love" section of Esquire magazine.









Yechhhh.






Look at the melon on her!

If we were on America's Next Top Model, this girl would be packing her bags and leaving the house tonight.

Ok, I get it. She's supposed to look edgy and sexy, yet in homage to her Italian food persona in sort of a Sophia Loren way. My problem is mostly that she looks insanely awkward, insanely retouched, and, well, insane.

Honestly, I think I'm just still scarred from the whole Rachael-Ray-in-FHM spread that still haunts my dreams.

But I do love the shoes...

Oh, and her chicken saltimboca.

photos courtesy of esquire.com

An Open Letter to That Girl on the Bus Yesterday

Dear Unknown Chick on the Bus Yesterday:

I know you don't know me and I don't know you, but I wanted to let you know that certain things are simply not acceptable in a polite society when you are above the age of fifteen. One of those things is walking around on a Monday with a neck so full of hickeys that it looks as though you were attacked by a vacuum cleaner.

Now, I know that you may having been living it up on Saturday at Town Hall, The Deck, Smith Point (for old times sake) or wherever else the Late Night Shots crew has decided to grace with their presence. And I know that perhaps that last sour apple martini may have clouded your judgment enough that you hooked up with that guy wearing Topsiders and the pink polo.

And that's all well and good.

Kudos!

But here's the deal. It is no longer okay to make a half hearted attempt at covering up the hematomas of early Sunday morning with a popped collar.

So, unless you have a clotting disorder or something (and even if you do!), heed my advice....get thee to some concealer!

Seriously. I heartily recommend investing in some Dermablend if you are ever planning on hooking up with Mr. Hoover Mouth ever again. But honestly, just go with what you've got in the house! Spackle it on. At least it will look like you made an effort.

Okay, so anyways, I liked your bracelet watch, but do something about the neck. Unless, of course, I have this all wrong and you have some sort of cancer or something. In which case, I apologize and take back everything I just said. Get well soon!

Peace out.

Caphillbarbie.

Feel Free to Ogle the Lawmakers

The Hill has released the annual 50 Most Beautiful People on Capitol Hill Issue!!

Wow, sometimes I think my standards for "news" are super low...

If you are on the Hill, or just wandering around the Hill aimlessly as a tourist (someone at the corner of Independence and New Jersey Aves yesterday asked me, "where is the Capitol?" I refrained from laughing at her openly as she seemed sufficiently sheepish when I pointed at the huge white dome right in front of her) pick up a copy!

Or, if you are stuck at your desk until hell freezes over check it out online at the link above.

logo courtesy of thehill.com

Sheer Insanity

In the weeks before the blitzkreig that has been my job lately, I was sampling lipsticks.

Not just any lipsticks. Sheer lipsticks.

I have a certain phobia about putting a heavy matte color from a tube on my mouth. I blame my mother and the time she dressed me up as a clown for Halloween.

It's probably not the reason, but it could be!

For that reason, I've always gravitated towards glosses. Their sheer sparklyness just fit my expectations of what my lips should look like.

But there are downsides, namely: the stickiness, the constant need for reapplication, the fact that my boyfriend refuses to kiss me when I wear it, you know, the usual. But the alternative was too much to bear.

So in recent months, I have noticed a proliferation of sheer lipsticks that seem like the answers to my prayers. Sheer, lightweight, color with some sparkle that goes on with the elegance of a lipstick without the spine tingling fear that usually accompanies it.

Here are a few of my favorites in the category:

Vincent Longo Baby Balm - it's called Baby Balm! How cute is that? And it has SPF...

Clinique Almost Lipstick - the Black Honey color is a true classic, and looks good on everyone. While that is rarely true, it's dead on here.

NARS Sheer Lipstick -not all of them are sheer, but the ones that are are fantastic. I love Dolce Vita and Roman Holiday which gives a beautiful baby pink mouth WITHOUT the chalky-ness of the Proenza Pink.

Laura Mercier Lip Stain - Ok, this one isn't in a stick, but the colors are cool and elegant looking, and that makes up for it.

I'm thinking about buying myself a new color for fall as a present once recess starts, but I'm definitely going to save the glosses for girl's nights out, that way, it will have worn off before I ask for a goodnight kiss.

photos courtesy of lauramercier.com and sephora.com

Necessary and Proper

My beauty necessities to get through the next few weeks before recess...

Neutrogena Acne Stress Control Treatment

Jameson Irish Whiskey

Is that wrong?

photos courtesy of drugstore.com and winebeers.com

A First Time for Everything

Yesterday, I bought my very first piece of a Target capsule line!

Yay for me!

While I dutifully have checked out almost all of the GO International lines, and even tried on a few items, nothing has grabbed me by the shoulders, shook me around, and screamed "Buy Me!!"

Until I was in the tomato red dressing room in Rockville slipping on a pair of Libertine navy blue shorts with embroidered skulls and whales on them.

First of all, I don't really look great in shorts. But I love the concept and the look on others, therefore I try them on in stores all over the world, look terrible and get depressed. Much ice cream eating and self flagellation shortly ensures.

Second of all, I usually don't like what J. Crew affectionately calls "critter shorts." I leave them to interns and pages from New England liberal arts colleges who think they are appropriate for casual Fridays (they aren't!).

But these were so different...they looked good! And the "critters" were slightly subversive, the skulls tempering the sugary sweet whales (Ha ha! Listen to my mad Top Chef skillz!)

Totally high off of my victory over shorts-dom, I kept on wandering and stumbled on the Devi Kroell accessories collection. While I've been drooling over her snakeskin bags at Barney's since they showed up (note to all, the salespeople at Barney's do not look fondly on plebians drooling on expensive handbags. Actually, they would probably prefer that you not engage in any bodily functions in the store, like sneezing, coughing, or breathing) but it would take me selling an egg or a kidney or some other organ to be able to afford one.

Unfortunately, the bigger bags in the collection were not great looking. But there was one pochette left in the dark grey and I snapped it up. In the smaller size, the metallic faux skin looks great, but it doesn't translate to the ginormous big bag.

So...I considered this a successful afternoon. In fact, no ice cream or whip necessary!

photos courtesy of target.com

Tis the Season

Everywhere I look lately, I see pregnant women! Seriously, it looks like it was a very busy winter in Washington!

And while motherhood is wonderful, blah blah blah, I cannot imagine being stuck in this insane heat carrying a whole extra person, nevermind the increased blood volume, the 1 lb placenta, amniotic fluid, etc. (I had a friend who would break out her weight gain during pregnancy just about every week. The numbers stuck.)

So, I would like to give a big shoutout to all the mommies-soon-to-be and wanted to compliment one in particular that I saw on the elevator.

While this woman looked as though she was about to burst forth with a wee one between floors two and three, she also looked cool, calm, and comfortable in her blue madras tank dress and chic flat gladiator sandals.

Kudos to you, mystery chic pregnant woman! I hope you give birth soon...at least the hospital will be super air conditioned.

Lessons Learned

I'd say that June was kind of an odd month for me. Due to a kidney stone "the size of an M&M" (I think I asked the doctor, plain or peanut?) I spent a lot of time on my couch watching tv.

Well, June is apparently bride month on TV. Especially the Style Network.

So I've pretty much watched every episode of Whose Wedding is it Anyways ever created. As I'm someone who generally thinks of the Big Day as that Tuesday in November, it was quite informative. And I learned some valuable lessons for planning my own wedding.

• If anyone uses the words "princess," "diva," or "bling" in my presence, I will shoot first and ask questions later.
• I don't care who considers this a tradition, there is no way my fiance is sticking his hands up my dress in front of 180 people
• Color coordinated tie backs make me gag.
• The "theme" of my wedding will be "I'm getting married"
• Fondant. Yecch.

On the slightly less misanthropic side of things, here are some other details I gleaned:

• Every girl looks beautiful when she pops out in her wedding dress, and her mother will cry.
• The tasting is clearly the most fun part of the entire planning process, if only because it will be the only thing my fiance gets excited about.
• Lighting is KEY. Apparently. Everyone tells me this.
• Mani-pedi is a necessity so at least I'll be forced to make time in my schedule before the Big Day.
• Wait a second, people give you gifts? Awesome.

For those of you who've done this before (or several times before, I don't judge!) let me in on a key secret to a successful wedding plan. Besides first getting lithotripsy and hoarding the Vicodin.

P.S. Also totally excited by niche beauty market like this Bridal Palette from Bobbi Brown....

Nice & Easy

This weekend I did something I almost never do.

What, you ask? Sleep til 11? Pretend to clean my apartment and end up watching TV and reading magazines? Drink white wine in place of dinner? Nope, I do that stuff all the time!

I returned a beauty product.

Insert gasps of shock and awe here.

Typically, when I don't love a beauty product, I sort of suck it up and move on, or try to find another home for it with a friend or loved one. Somewhere where it will have lots of room to run around and play. Or, I leave it languishing underneath my sink until I move and throw everything away in a fit.

But not this time. This time, I was mad.

I saw an article about Bumble and Bumble's Curl Conscious Curl Creme in the July issue of Washingtonian magazine and got all hot and bothered about it. It seemed so effortless to make easy frizz free waves! But this is also the magazine that devoted an entire issue to how rich Washingtonians are without a single mention of how the other half (actually, a lot of DC) struggles to make ends meet.

So, the Curl Creme sort of made me look like that time I accidentally washed my hair with hand lotion instead of shampoo. I think I'll just stick to trusting their restaurant reviews from now on.

So, I returned the offending hair product and coughed up a little extra to trade up to the Laura Mercier Metallic Creme Eye Colour (yes, British spelling. I can't get Blogger to make the accent grave in "creme" though.) I originally had my heart set on Mercury, a silvery purple, but they were out of it, so I picked Titanium, a grey-purple, instead.

I've been pretty pleased so far. The creme goes on easily and blends really well, leaving a light veil of shimmery color that doesn't crease or smudge. With a little extra layer or a swipe of my purple crayon-esque Sephora liner, it morphs into a fast evening look, which will make it tops on my list for travel and for those days when you have to go all day to different events and can only carry one small purse. (seriously, they should have a beauty Olympics. that kind of day would be like the biathalon, a.k.a. the awesomest event EVER)

So, I guess the moral of my story is, if at first you believe the lousy beauty advice of a magazine and buy a dud, return it and try, try again!

photo courtesy of lauramercier.com

Paradise Found

I've been thinking a lot about traveling to some tropical places. Like those hotels in Indonesia where you have your own bungalow or jetting off to Aruba. Places where you never change out of a bathing suit and you eat fresh fruit for like a week.

Riiiight. I watch way too much Travel Channel.

I burn under the moonlight, so scratch the frolicking in the sun is out. I actually don't even own a bathing suit that isn't from 1993. And I practically have scurvy from the mistaken belief that I can get all my daily vitamins from ingesting 3 double tall skim lattes a day.

Sometimes I supplement with peanut M&Ms!

So, maybe my island getaway vacation is pure fantasy, but I recently re-discovered a product that makes it feel like I've jetted to paradise.

After a long bike ride on Saturday during an absolutely gorgeous morning, I was inspired to, you know, look good that day. Actual effort here, people! Be proud of me.

I dug around in my scads of bottles on the bathroom sink (oh, fiance's foot has been firmly placed down. get rid of some of the stuff on the counter, or else!) and came up with my long lost sample of the NARS Monoi Body Glow II.

I wrote about this before, but this is a body oil that smells like you've died and gone to heaven. An island paradise where no one ever sunburns type of heaven. I slathered myself with the oil, hoping it hadn't gone rancid in the year it languished on my shelf.

Two minutes later, my fiance showed up to see if I was making any progress on the getting dressed so we could get on with the eating of brunch.

(oh, also, for all the DCites in the house, the ONLY time to go to Two Amys is lunch on the weekends. Heed my advice or be cast down into Dante's lost tenth circle of hell where you will be forced to wait two hours for a table while being shoved by waiting pseudohipsters threatening to spill wine on you, have your toes run over by mammoth double-wide strollers and then smacked in the knees by the children who should be in the strollers but are walking and carrying toys in a restaurant. At 10 pm.)

He starts sniffing around. I think I yelled something about promising to clean the counter soon, but he cut me off.

"What smells so good?"

Oooh. How unexpected. My fiance typically only comments on smells when we are fighting about who will take out the trash this week, so I was pleasantly surprised to hear him comment on the Body Glow.

And the accolades continued! By Sunday, I gave in and ran down to Blue Mercury to buy a bottle of the Monoi Body Glow. I may have to forgo a few lattes this week to pay for it, but I consider it an investment in the future marriage.

And hey, he's stopped commenting on the products in the bathroom. And that is paradise to me!

photo courtesy of sephora.com

Afternoon Delight

I did a little late afternoon e-shopping today.

Picked up this kicking pair of flats from J. Crew to feed into my new obsession with anything-but-black shoes.

Oh, and to the ridiculous chatter on the Washington Post fashion discussion today, I absolutely do not plan on matching them to my purse, so deal with it.

In fact, I bought these just to spite you.

Well, also because I don't have a green bag.

photo courtesy of jcrew.com

Why Didn't Anyone Tell Me Nine Months Ago?

Well, crap.

I just got my July issue of Vogue, and apparently the manny is this season's "chicest accessory!"

Seriously?

Now I'm going to be all unchic this summer, because not only do I not have a manny, I don't even have a baby to warrant the hiring of a manny.

Dammit.

I'm just going to sit in my cube and wallow in blatant unchic mannylessness.

One more way to prevent Real Work from taking place

Let it be known that I am a huge fan of procrastinating.

In interviews, I say I work best under a tight deadline.

One of my newest favorite idle pastimes is checking out Project Beltway, a blog devoted to highlighting great style around DC.

Honestly, I think this site is so great for two reasons:

1. It shows everyone that people in DC do actually wear things other than layered pop-collared polos with chino shorts and Rainbow flip flops (I live in Georgetown...this applies to both men and women.)

2. It inspires me to get my lazy ass out of that Ann Taylor hole and actually put together an Outfit my crying out loud. Oh, and maybe actually do something with my hair for once in my life.

And for all of you outside the Beltway, see! We aren't all office drones all the time! Well...some people aren't.

Oh, and PS. I'm issuing a fashion fatwa on that guy I saw who was wearing not one, not two, but THREE Lacoste shirts in sherbert colors with all collars popped.

Your ass is grass, dude.

When Good Things Come From Very Very Bad Things

Like any card carrying member of the American cable subscribing public, I watch a boatload of Law and Order reruns.

Damn you, Dick Wolf, and your entrancing characters and sick twisted plotlines! I swear, if Fred Thompson forces the networks to pull my reruns for some pseudo-Red Lion reason, there will be hell to pay.

Anyhoo.

During my countless hours devoted to watching Chris Meloni snatch up bad guys, I was also forced to watch umpteen commercials for the USA Network "mini-series" The Starter Wife. And let's just say that it looks, well, to use a word...feculant.

Ok, I said it. Berate me if you will, but that thing looks awful. And it's like 8 hours long.

Spread over a month.

Ack!

But I did notice that Essie did a line of nail polishes named after that go-get-em-girl! spirit that the series allegedly embodies, like "Wife Goes On" and "Pink-ing Up the Pieces." The best one that I found was actually named after the series, a pale and very sheer pink.

I shamefully purchased it and applied it in secret. It's a fantastic shade. It gives your nails that shiny but natural look, almost as if you are not actually wearing nail polish but you just have really healthy and pretty nails. And it looks good when performed by a non-professional!

I guess that was the idea. If you get dumped by your millionaire husband in a community property state and somehow get no money and then are forced to live in Malibu and choose between two hot guys vying for your affection, you need to have a nail polish that you can do yourself.

Riiight.

Whatever, I bet Serena Southerland does her own nails too.

Also, I went on a little nail polish binge so there will be lots more Essie related posts to come.

photo courtesy of nymag.com

Soft Spot

I have an admitted weakness for certain types of clothing and beauty products.


I could delve deep into my psyche and tell you that these items fit into a mental image of myself that I want to outwardly display.


Or maybe they are just cute!


Well, my latest fantasy wardrobe obsession is basically the entire Tory Burch collection. From her ubiquitous and much copied logo flats to her adorable dresses and chic tunic tops, her clothes are perfect for the life I don't actually have, but really really want.


For instance:






I would wear this dress for a relaxed summer Friday at the office before jetting off to the Hamptons in my Mini convertable with my fiance, arriving just in time to meet our equally chic friends for a quick glass of Prosecco while we watch the sun set.

And...

This would be perfect for shopping around Georgetown with the Bush twins. We'd clean out Intermix, then head over to Leopold's for brunch and skip the Euro trash traffic jam out front. Oh, right, I never work out, by the way, these legs are a birth right, like admission to Deerfield Academy.

I would wear this out on a summer night for drinks on a rooftop party. That's right. In my fantasy life, I wear white pants and they never get dirty.

Seriously though, some of the Tory Burch clothes are really great as separates and her clothes are not cut teensy tiny and come in a range of sizes. They can be reasonably priced if you catch a sale (like the one going on now online). I have one of her dickie sweaters from fall and I just love it.

Yup, I giggle every time I say "dickie" too.

So, I encourage you to look beyond the logo flats (seriously, if I see one more person in those...) and incorporate a little fantasy life into real life.

Is there any designer whose aesthetic embodies your fantasy life where shoes don't ever give you blisters, the humidity never gets above 30%, and you never lack an invitation to a killer party or something to wear to it?

photos courtesy of toryburch.com

Wedded Bliss

I spent the past weekend in Michigan attending a good friend's wedding. This also marked the first wedding I've attended out of town where I was not a member of the bridal party and therefore required to participate in multiple events where I was told how to walk, smile, and breathe, so that I don't screw up my friend's pictures forever.

So, while I wandered around the small Detroit suburb of Birmingham with my sister asking people, Rachael Ray-$40-a-Day style, where we could get a pedicure for less than the Devil would pay for my soul, we stumbled upon Todd's Room, a fantastic little beauty shop.

The concept is pretty fantastic. They carry several high end makeup and fragrance lines, like NARS, Fresh, L'Artisan, Becca, and DuWop as well as some offbeat stuff and accessories. Then, in the back, they have makeup artists who do application and lessons.

(Unfortunately not shown on the website, but they have the most adorable graphics)

They also did have a nail technician, but we had already gotten our cheapie mani/pedi, where the technician had actually snipped my sister which lead to many panic attacks that she would get "rabies."

I graciously informed her that was pretty much impossible. Tetanus and staph, on the other hand...

The thought of lip gloss seemed to calm her down and we set about trying on pretty much everything in the store. We both settled on NARS Pillow Talk, a sheer pinky brown color with just a hint of shimmer...and after a scare where the salesgirl could only find one tube...possibly leading to an international family incident we both left with a new look for the wedding.

it doesn't look like this at all. but I love the little tadpole shape.

They also had some products on sale...so I snagged a tube of Essie's gloss-e in Vanity Fairest at half off! It is described as "very twinkly and pinkly" on their website.

I mean, who can resist that?

All in all, the wedding was beautiful and my sister and I had the best lipgloss around...the best part about NARS lipglosses is that they stick around through the tears at the glass smashing, the post ceremony cocktail, and the never-ending slightly awkward toasts. However, pastry flakes from pigs-in-blankets should be approached with trepidation.

photos courtesy of sephora.com and essie.com

I Ain't Seen Sunshine Since I Don't Know When

The word of the day is "jail."

Apparently it's the hot place to be.

Paris just checked in.

Scooter's looking at a 30 month stay.

Old "Freezer Cash" Jefferson is bound to be headed there.

And while I won't profess to know the first thing about incarceration, I can say that I feel Cash's pain when he talks about not seeing the sun. Seriously, if I wanted to hide at work, I could dress in all white and stand against a hallway wall and close my eyes. No one would ever find me then.

But the threat of skin cancer and uneven blotchiness keep me clear of the actual sun and sunless tanners. So, to my surprise, I found I really liked the Physician's Formula Shimmer Strips that made their way to my doorstep.

Much like the gorgeous Bobbi Brown Shimmer Bricks, the Shimmer Strip is a block of shimmer powders in a variety of bronze, gold and pink tones. They can be swirled together and used like a bronzer or you can use each color on it's own as a shadow.

I love the Miami Strip/Healthy Glow shade, it gives me just a hint of color and shimmer without being too muddy looking. I bet if they made a Boca Raton Strip shade, it would make you wrinkly with a visor and kvetch about the rising cost of Manischewitz macaroons.

I was also shocked to see the virtual WALL of Physician's Formula powders, blushes and bronzers at my local crappot CVS. They have so many varieties, you are bound to find something that works for your skin tone.

Also, it's always nice to find an affordable version of a product that I can only use for a maximum of three months a year. No one would believe I turn that color before Memorial Day or after Labor Day.

In the meantime, I will be in the prison of my own beauty! Ha! Right.

photo courtesy of physiciansformula.com

Why Me? Why Me?!?

Ok, I'm confused.

After hearing RAVES about DiorShow mascara from such trusted bloggers as Blogdorf Goodman, Faking Good Breeding and DaddyLikey, I eagerly plunked down my twenty-three dollars (plus the exorbitant DC sales tax...no taxation without representation!) and skipped home with my fat little tube.

But when I started using it, I was dismayed with the results.

First, the brush is literally the size of the one I use on my bangs. I was excited about that at first but then...

Second, I got the stuff all over my eyelids. Everywhere. It was like that Amex ad with Ellen DeGeneres. All manner of careful application and pulling and looking sideways and not blinking versus blinking does not alleviate the situation. Maybe I have fat eyelids??? (The horror! The shame! Seriously? How is this possible?)

Third, perhaps it is merely the vicious allergy season here, but I ended up with whore eyes (where the mascara leaves rings under your eyes, aka walk of shame eyes) like you would not believe. I think half of the Senate thinks I went on a bender over Memorial Day recess.

Fourth, even after I cleaned up the collateral damage, but before the smudging, I wasn't that impressed with my lashes.

So tell me, am I missing something? I have heard such wonderful things and I want to love this.

Help me! I have many functions coming up for which lush black lashes would be so perfect... I feel so lost, so helpless...

Ok, I'm just kidding, I just don't want to leave work and walk home in the pouring rain.

photo courtesy of sephora.com